


Altered Time

by AudacityOfHuge



Category: Xena: Warrior Princess
Genre: F/F, God Shenanigans, Redemption, Romance, Soulmate Drama, canon divergent after Ides of March, cirra, time travel but not in a sci fi way, young callisto
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-19
Updated: 2020-01-21
Packaged: 2021-02-21 21:41:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 27,195
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22237387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AudacityOfHuge/pseuds/AudacityOfHuge
Summary: In an attempt to make amends for past mistakes, Xena and Gabrielle return to the village of Cirra, Callisto's former home. What happens to them there will force Xena to face hard truths about her redemption, and about her relationship with her soulmate Gabrielle.
Relationships: Gabrielle/Xena
Comments: 11
Kudos: 61





	1. Where We Stand

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my Xena fanfic!
> 
> I’ve been a Xena fan for over ten years now, and it’s a show that is near and dear to my heart, more so than any other show ever made. I’ve read all the biggest fics out there, but I’ve never attempted to write one myself because I never felt like I had a solid concept or plot to work with.
> 
> Recently, though, I’ve been listening to "Xena: Warrior Podcast" (which is excellent and I highly recommend it), and those ladies have gotten into some pretty interesting discussions about the concept of soulmates and how it relates to free will. I found it really thought-provoking, and I thought it might be fun to write a story that attempts to deal with that issue.
> 
> This fanfic is canon divergent after the events of Ides of March. For the purposes of this story, Xena and Gabrielle were brought back to life by Eli, there is no pregnancy for Xena, and Gabrielle does have the sai as her weapon. Everything else is the same as the show. 
> 
> That’s all. Enjoy the fic!

Fireflies blinked and danced in the tepid air as though they were trying to pretend they were stars in the night sky. Xena studied them carefully, imagining them as additions to the fantastical constellations that she and Gabrielle had often drawn with their fingertips in the early years of their travels together. It had been some time since either of them had felt lighthearted enough to partake in the game, but Xena could still fondly remember and identify some of the more esoteric designs that Gabrielle had come up with, and she did so now. To the north, a firefly momentarily turned a cluster of stars that Gabrielle had insisted was a horse dancing on two legs into a unicorn dancing on two legs. To the south, the face of a man sneezing briefly gained a firefly goatee. To the east, two mountains side-by-side became erupting volcanoes when two fireflies lit up simultaneously at their summits.

To the west lay Cirra, and thus the game could not be played there.

Gabrielle returned with more firewood, and sparks from the new fuel sent additional momentary lights into the air, though they were too brief to be included in Xena’s private game. Then Gabrielle lay down beside her, and her focus shifted entirely to her companion instead. They blinked at one another in the firelight. 

“Almost there,” Gabrielle said.

“Yeah,” agreed Xena. She ran her eyes over Gabrielle’s face, noting the deepening crinkles at the corners of her eyes as she gave Xena a weak smile. Gabrielle had grown so much in the past few years; changed so much, too. And yet she knew this woman as well as she knew herself. No change had ever made them feel like strangers to each other. When Gabrielle had given up fighting, Xena knew what choices and events had led her to that decision. 

And when Gabrielle had picked up a sword in the courtyard of a Roman prison, Xena had known exactly what had made her do it.

“Do you want to hear a scroll, or are you too tired?” asked Gabrielle, her voice soft and understanding. 

“I’m not too tired,” Xena assured her. She paused, took a deep breath, and then continued: “Read me the first one about her.”

Sitting up slightly, Gabrielle continued to peer at her carefully. “Are you sure?”

“Yes. We’ll be there by sundown tomorrow. I think I need to hear it.”

“Alright.”

“I can read it for myself, if it’s too much.”

“No, I can do it.” Gabrielle stood and went to her pack, and Xena listened as she shuffled through her multitude of scrolls until she found what she was looking for. When she came back to the bedroll, she did not lay down again. Instead she sat cross-legged next to Xena and unrolled the parchment. Then she bravely cleared her throat and began to read: “I sing of Callisto, the second mightiest warrior princess, and of her defeat at the hands of the first…”

In the prison cell, as she lay broken and defeated, Xena had learned that she’d made far more mistakes than she’d ever realized before. She had thought the mistakes had mostly stopped after meeting Gabrielle and giving up her warlord ways, but she’d been so very wrong. In fact the biggest mistake she’d ever made was her handling of her relationship with Gabrielle.

When they’d first started traveling together, she’d thought of Gabrielle as a kid. There was a fairly significant age difference between them, and a vastly significant experience difference. She wasn’t sure when exactly she stopped thinking of her that way, but it was soon after they’d met. It was quickly apparent that Gabrielle was bright, compassionate and clever. They were soon closer than friends; they were family. 

But she’d never quite considered Gabrielle her equal. It wasn’t that she thought she was better than her, but there was still so much for her young friend to learn, and a lot of that would be taught to her by Xena. How could she consider her student to be her equal?

And then they’d gone through so much together, and Xena realized that Gabrielle had so much to teach her, too. Things that she could never have learned on her own. And that was when the trouble started. Because then Xena knew that Gabrielle had surpassed her. Sure, Xena was still the more formidable opponent on the battlefield. But in every way that actually mattered, Gabrielle was better than her.

She loved better. She cared more. She didn’t _need_ to fight, because she could usually find a better solution. Where Xena hid behind her sword, Gabrielle stood tall and proud on her own. Warriors were a dinar a dozen. But people like Gabrielle were rare and precious.

And Xena hadn’t even bothered to read her scrolls.

Xena didn’t deserve a woman like Gabrielle. And this was a particularly distressing epiphany, because right about the time she understood this, the two of them learned they were soulmates.

So not only was Gabrielle bound to her in this lifetime, they would be bound in every lifetime to come. Gabrielle’s light was eternally cursed with Xena’s darkness, and there was nothing either one of them could do about it.

And to top everything off, Xena was hopelessly in love with her. Every day it was getting harder and harder to ignore the intensity of her feelings for Gabrielle, harder and harder to rationalize keeping her distance. Sometimes she would look at Gabrielle and be swept up in her love, overcome with the irrational desire to wrap her arms around her and shield her from all the cruelty and pain in the world. It was becoming too much to handle, and Xena often felt as though she were fraying around the edges at the effort it took to hold herself back. She had never known a love so strong before.

She was certain that Gabrielle loved her back, perhaps even with as much intensity. But it wasn’t something they’d ever discussed or acted upon, because Xena knew that it was wrong. 

They were soulmates; that much was certainly true. So how, then, could they ever know if they only felt this way about each other because of the bond they shared? If given the choice, Xena was certain that Gabrielle would never have picked her -- would never have loved her.

It didn’t seem like it was very fair to Gabrielle. How tragic, for such a wonderful girl to be tied to such a burden like Xena.

After coming back to life, the two of them had headed back to Greece. As they processed everything that had happened to them, Xena had been plagued with thoughts of Callisto. Somehow she knew, just _knew_ , that Callisto was at peace now. And yet Xena still couldn’t stop thinking about what she’d done to her and her village. It was as though her conscience was trying to remind her of exactly _why_ she could never allow herself to love Gabrielle the way she wanted. Some nights she woke up gasping with the memory of the carnage in that village, the smell of burning flesh, the screams of dying children, and the only way Xena could calm down was with Gabrielle’s gentle arms holding her until sleep returned.

Gabrielle had suggested that maybe a visit to Cirra would help. “If you confront it head on,” she had said, “maybe you will finally be able to release it.” And though the idea terrified her, Xena supposed it was as good a destination as any. Besides, it was what Gabrielle, the bravest person she knew, would do. They’d been on the road for months now, and finally the end was in sight. 

As Xena listened to the scroll, she closed her eyes and let the sound of Gabrielle’s soothing, familiar voice wash over her. She’d never been comfortable with the way the bard wrote her as a heroic figure in her stories, but ever since Eli had brought them back, Xena had been determined to listen to every last one regardless. If she concentrated, she could convince herself the scrolls were about someone else, some other warrior princess who could seemingly do impossible things.

When she got to the end of the scroll, Gabrielle rolled it up and carefully tied it shut, then rose to place it back in the pack before rejoining Xena and laying down by her side.

“You left something out,” Xena commented casually. “That night we stayed at the campfire and I explained what my army and I did to her family and the rest of the village.”

“It’s in there,” confessed Gabrielle guiltily, “but I couldn’t bring myself to read it. But it’s not because of what you did. It’s because of the promise I made you make that night about not becoming a monster if anything ever happened to me. I thought it made me sound so hypocritical, considering what I did in Rome after you got hit with the chakram.”

Xena rolled to her side to face Gabrielle, watching her with pained blue eyes. “Gabrielle…”

But Gabrielle cut her off. “I’m not sorry I did it. Gods know I’d do it again. But back then,” she waved her hand in the direction of her pack where she’d just stored the scroll, “I had no idea just how important we’d become to one another. I had no idea I was forcing you to make a promise I now know you couldn’t possibly keep.”

It was the truth, and Xena acknowledged it with her silence. After a long moment, she lifted up her arm and said, “C’mere.”

Needing no further convincing, Gabrielle turned and scooted backwards into Xena’s offered embrace. A strong arm wrapped itself around her midriff, and she intertwined their fingers where they rested against her stomach. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, soaking in Xena’s warmth and protection. It was so rare for Xena to offer this sort of contact. Usually it was Gabrielle who initiated it, carefully moving closer and closer until she was cuddled up beside her friend. Then Xena would give in and return the affection, usually in the form of an arm around her shoulders and an unspoken invitation to use her shoulder as a pillow.

These days their cuddle sessions had become more and more frequent; in fact it happened almost every night now. Gabrielle was happy about it. She always slept better with the sound of Xena’s steady heartbeat right under her ear.

Some nights she tortured herself with fantasies of throwing caution to the wind and kissing Xena, if only just to clear the air between them. But she’d seen the way Xena looked at her and she knew her feelings were reciprocated, so Xena must know it, too. So the logical conclusion was that there was some other reason they weren’t already lovers; for whatever reason, Xena wanted it that way. And Gabielle could wait. She would wait as long as it took for her to get over her reservations.

After all, it wasn’t like she was going anywhere. 

Rain clouds moved in overnight and in the morning Gabrielle suggested they find shelter until they passed instead of risking being caught in a downpour. “They won’t break today,” Xena replied. “Or at least, not until much later. We should be able to get to Cirra before it happens.”

“Come on, Xena,” said Gabrielle teasingly. “Not even you can predict the weather that accurately.”

“Oh, you think so?” One of Xena’s eyebrows quirked in that way it did when she was holding back a smug smile. “Care to wager on that?”

“Yeah, I would. Five dinars says we get soaked before we reach Cirra.”

“You’re on.”

They broke camp and loaded up Argo with practiced efficiency, and they were on the road a short time later. The path they trudged cut through a dense forest, so it was difficult to keep track of the rain clouds above them. They were limited to the briefest of glimpses of the sky between the canopy of leaves above. Though the light was grey and the air became humid, the weather seemed to be holding.

At midday they stopped for lunch, and Gabrielle frowned up at the sky as she ate her fish.

“You look worried,” said Xena mockingly.

Quickly snapping her attention back to her companion, Gabrielle stuck out her tongue. “I’m not worried. I’m just thinking about what I’m going to spend your dinars on.”

“Of course you are.”

Playful banter had always been a staple of their travels together. It had the desired effect of passing time in a pleasant way, and before they knew it they were encountering signs that there was a village nearby. A couple of oncoming wagons pulled by two horses each forced them to wait by the side of the path for a few minutes as they passed, their drivers looking at them curiously as they went by. Further on they broke through the treeline and found themselves on the outskirts of a cow farm, where most of the cows were laying down on the grass. Gabrielle pointed to them and said: “See? The cows are laying down. That means it’s going to rain.”

“I never said it wasn’t going to rain. I only said we’d get there before it started.”

Just then there was a far-off rumble of thunder, and Gabrielle grinned triumphantly. “Oh, you are so going to lose,” she laughed.

“Am I?” But Xena had to admit, she may have misjudged this one. She sniffed the air as they continued on, noting the increased scent of rain on the breeze.

As usual, though, she was stupid to second-guess herself, because a short time later they came upon the village of Cirra and not a single raindrop had fallen yet. “Unbelievable,” grumbled Gabrielle. “How do you do that?”

“I have many skills,” said Xena succinctly. “Pay up.” When Gabrielle grudgingly slapped a coin into her palm, she raised it to her lips and kissed it. “Sweet, sweet victory.”

Rolling her eyes, Gabrielle turned and continued walking towards the village, and Xena followed after her with Argo. But after a few steps, Gabrielle hung back so she could once again walk beside her friend, offering silent support as they approached the settlement.

Cirra had changed since Xena had last been here, which made sense considering that her army had burned the place down. The most immediate and noticeable change was that there was a wall around it. A large gate stood open, and as Xena and Gabrielle walked through it, they were stopped by a man holding a spear. He regarded them suspiciously. “Who are you?” he asked at once. His eyes landed on the chakram clipped to Xena’s waist.

Xena noticed this and stood up straighter. She had anticipated meeting resistance to her presence in the town. After all, Callisto wasn’t the only person who’s family she’d killed here. “I think you know who I am.”

“ _Xena_ ,” he growled, and two other nearby men heard this and came to join them. “Get out of here, Xena. You’re not welcome.”

“Please,” Gabrielle said softly, “we only need a dry place to stay for the night. A storm is coming. We don’t want any trouble.”

“Last time she was here she burned the whole village down! She’s the reason we built this gods damn wall.”

“I’m not going to argue that I didn’t do what you say I did,” said Xena in a low, even voice. “I’m here to try and atone for my mistakes.”

“You can atone with your death,” said the guard, and the other two enthusiastically agreed with him. He dropped into a fighting stance with his spear. 

Xena shook her head and sighed. “Calm down. I’m not going to fight you. Come on, Gabrielle. If we leave now we might be able to find a cave or something before the rain…”

And then two things happened at once. The sky opened up and began dumping rain, and the first guard lunged at Xena. Reflexively, Xena jumped out of the way of his spear, grabbed it with both hands, and yanked it forcefully out of his grip. Then she effortlessly snapped it in two over her knee. “That’s enough!” she yelled angrily, throwing the broken spear to the ground at their feet. “We’re leaving, alright? If you attack me again I’m going to defend myself, and I promise it won’t work out well for you. Let’s go, Gabrielle.”

Frowning at the guards, Gabrielle said, “Okay.” She fell into step beside Xena as they began retracing their steps through the rapidly forming mud. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have suggested we come here. I don’t know what I was expecting would happen. I guess I was hoping there would be space in their hearts for forgiveness.”

Smiling wearily, Xena said, “No, Gabrielle, not everyone is as kind-hearted and loving as you. But don’t apologize for your optimism in that regard. It’s one of the things I love the most about you.” She draped an arm casually over Gabrielle’s shoulder as they walked and pressed a kiss on the top of her wet head before releasing her.

Gabrielle had to really concentrate to keep from tripping and falling on her face, her heart pounding rapidly in her chest. As she tried to formulate a response, she heard another voice over the sound of wind, rain and thunder. Someone was running towards them from the village, and Gabrielle unconsciously prepared to reach for her sai.

It was a young woman in simple villager clothing, not unlike something Gabrielle would have worn before she’d met Xena, a time that seemed a lifetime ago now. The woman was completely soaked through from the rain. “Xena,” she panted as she approached them. “You’re Xena, right?”

“Who wants to know?” replied Xena.

“My name is Annaclese, or just Anna. My grandmother sent me. She wants to offer you a place in her barn for the night.”

“Why?”

Anna looked surprised at the question. “Because there’s a thunderstorm,” she answered, her tone indicating that she thought this an obvious answer.

Gabrielle had to quickly smother her laughter. Clearly, this girl wasn’t all that bright. When Xena caught her eye and lifted an eyebrow in a silent question, Gabrielle gave her a little shrug in reply. “Alright,” said Xena to Anna. “Lead the way.”

Luckily, Anna did not lead them back through the gate where they’d just had their little altercation. Instead she led them along the outside of the wall to another gate that was locked shut. Anna produced a key and unlocked it. She held it open for Xena, Gabrielle, and Argo, then shut it and locked it again from the inside. They found themselves in a large animal enclosure with several well-fed pigs, goats and chickens wandering around, not minding the rain one bit. Continuing on, Anna headed towards a barn across the yard. “This is my grandmother’s house,” Anna explained. “She’s one of the only people in town with her own entrance through the wall.”

“Why does she merit that?” asked Gabrielle, curious as always.

“She’s the head priestess in town,” Anna explained. “My grandpa used to be the head of the temple, but he…” She trailed off, shooting a furtive glance at Xena.

Who completed the sentence for her: “...Died at the hands of my army.”

“Yes,” said Anna.

“Then why’s she offering me a place to stay?”

“You’ll have to ask her. She didn’t tell me.”

While they waited for Anna to unlock the barn, Gabrielle said in a low voice, “I don’t like this, Xena.”

“I don’t much like it either,” Xena admitted. “But I like this rain even less. Let’s stay here for the night, and we’ll head out at first light tomorrow.”

Anna got the door open and Xena led Argo into a stall. The horse was clearly happy to be in a warm, dry place, and she immediately set about filling up on fresh hay from the floor. Xena began removing their things from her saddle in preparation for the coming night. “You guys can sleep up in the loft,” said Anna. “There’s good, soft hay up there. My grandmother will be by later with something to eat.”

“Thank you, Anna,” said Gabrielle kindly. “I’m Gabrielle, by the way.”

“Yes, I know. I’ve read some of your scrolls in Athens. It’s wonderful to meet you. Maybe tomorrow you can tell me a story?”

“Sure,” agreed Gabrielle, even knowing that she and Xena had no intention to stay that long.

“Great! Well, I’ll let Gran know you’re here.” Without another word, she hurried out of the barn and back out into the rain.

“That’s odd,” commented Xena. “Why would a girl like her be in Athens reading scrolls?”

“I have no idea,” said Gabrielle. She accepted a linen cloth from Xena and used it to furiously ruffle her shaggy blonde hair to dry it off. Xena watched her affectionately for a moment before returning to the task of unpacking Argo. In no time at all they had set themselves up for sleep on the loft. Then Gabrielle settled down on a pile of hay with a scroll and her quill, and Xena began giving Argo a thorough brush-down.

A short time later, the door to the barn opened again and an elderly woman came in, carrying bread, cheese and fruit for them to eat. “Welcome,” said the woman. “My name is Adoni. I trust you’re finding the accommodations suitable?”

“Absolutely,” Gabrielle said, standing and clasping wrists with Adoni. “I’m Gabrielle, and this is Xena. Thank you so much for offering us a place to stay.”

“Of course,” said Adoni mildly. “Growing up I was taught to always offer passing travelers my hospitality.”

“Even travelers who are responsible for the death of a loved one?” asked Xena bluntly.

“My deity is one of forgiveness, young one,” said Adoni. 

“And which deity is that?” Gabrielle said.

“I am a priestess of the temple of Hebe.”

“The goddess of forgiveness and eternal youth,” said Gabrielle, thinking of the three gaurds at the gate who had attacked Xena. “Do you have many followers in this town?”

“Not as many as I would like.” Adoni set the food down on top of a barrel and produced a wineskin from beneath her robes. “In any case, I’m afraid this rain is hard on my old bones. Please accept these gifts as an apology for your treatment at the gate, and I will take my leave of you. You are welcome to stay as long as you like.”

As she took the wineskin, Gabrielle gave Adoni’s hands a gentle squeeze. “Thank you, Adoni. This means a lot to us.”

“Yes, thank you,” echoed Xena. “I wasn’t sure what to expect coming back here, but it certainly wasn’t this.”

Adoni looked at them both for a moment, her eyes flicking back and forth between them. Something flashed in their dark depths, and Xena felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise as a prickling, nondescript sense of danger shot down her spine. It was completely inexplicable. What could this old woman possibly do to them? But she’d learned long ago to trust her instincts, and she watched the woman carefully as she shuffled out of the barn into the torrential downpour outside.

Gabrielle released a breath as the barn door closed behind the old woman, and she turned to look at Xena. “I don’t like this,” she reiterated.

“Me either. Do you want to leave?”

A flash of lightning was quickly followed by a boom of thunder so loud that it shook the rafters of the old barn. Argo let out a snort and pawed the ground nervously, as if she were expressing her dislike of the idea of heading back out into the storm.

“Let’s stay the night like we planned,” Gabrielle said. “Unless you think we should go?”

“I’m not crazy about either idea, to be honest,” Xena admitted. “But I doubt this rain is going to let up any time soon. We’ll stay the night, but let’s try and keep our wits about us. Maybe not drink too much of that wine.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Gabrielle retrieved the food and wineskin and they climbed up to the loft to eat. They limited themselves to half the wine that Adoni had brought, but it was enough to make Gabrielle feel warm and sleepy, and soon she found herself cuddled up next to Xena, her arm resting comfortably across her stomach and her head pillowed on her shoulder. “So this is Cirra,” she said softly, rubbing comforting circles on her companion’s stomach.

“Yeah,” burred Xena, also feeling relaxed and lethargic.

“Does it look how you remember it?”

“No. There was no wall when I came here before. And the homes are spaced farther apart. Trying to prevent another devastating fire, most likely.”

“Hmm,” said Gabrielle thoughtfully. “What do you think it would take for you to get closure from this place? What’s going to help you move on?”

A long pause followed this question as Xena considered her answer. Slowly, she said, “I think I would need to see that the town itself has moved on. I want to know that the people here are prosperous and happy.” In a move that surprised Gabrielle, Xena turned on her side to more fully gather the other woman into her arms. She pulled Gabrielle close and buried her nose in her soft blonde hair. “Gabrielle… Is it right for me to have come here? Do I deserve to be forgiven for this?”

Overwhelmed emotionally and physically, Gabrielle wound her arms around Xena and pressed her face against her chest. This was by far the most intimate contact they’d ever shared, and she was having trouble drawing breath. It felt so good that it was almost as though she were melting. She loved Xena so much, admired her and trusted her and wanted her, and she tried to convey that in her touch and her voice. “You aren’t that person anymore,” she said fiercely. “I know you aren’t. You have done so much good in the world, Xena. You have to let yourself believe that it’s possible to make amends, otherwise you will never be able to find peace.”

“Peace,” murmured Xena, breathing in Gabrielle’s scent. “I’ve only ever felt peace when I’m with you. That’s why… That’s why I don’t deserve this.” She hugged Gabrielle tighter. “Deserve you.”

At last, Gabrielle understood with blinding clarity why Xena was holding herself back. _She doesn’t think she’s good enough for me_ , she thought incredulously. “Xena…” she breathed, trying to pull away to look her in the eye.

But Xena held her firmly in place with a hand on the back of her head. “Don’t,” she said pleadingly. “Please don’t.” There was a rawness and vulnerability in her voice that Gabrielle had never heard before, and it broke her heart.

“...Alright,” she said reluctantly, settling back against her. _Someday soon we will work through this_ , she thought, _but t_ _his is enough for now._


	2. Cirra, Before

“Gabrielle!”

Xena’s harried, aggravated voice permeated through several layers of sleep and roused Gabrielle in a highly unpleasant way. Sitting bolt up-right, she said, “Huh? What’s wrong?”

“We’ve been robbed,” Xena said angrily. She was going through their stuff on the bottom level of the barn, and from her mannerisms Gabrielle could tell at once that it was bad.

She began extracting herself from the comfortable hay bed and making her way down the ladder. “What did they take?”

“Damn near everything. My sword, my chakram, my armor, almost all your scrolls...” She trailed off as she continued to rummage and take stock of their inventory.

“How?” Gabrielle asked. “Didn’t you hear anything last night?”

“Nothing.” Xena began looking around the barn for any clues she might find. “I don’t understand. Anyone coming in here would have had to open that ancient barn door. And there’s all this hay on the ground! I should have heard it!”

Sensing that Xena was having a rare moment of loss of emotional control, Gabrielle went over and put her hand on the small of her back. “Hey, it’s alright. We’ll get it back. Why don’t you keep looking around here, and I’ll go talk to Adoni and Anna.”

With a deep, calming sigh, Xena said, “Alright. Take your sai, though. I have a bad feeling about this.”

“Right. Got it.” Gabrielle went over to her boots and discovered that her sai were missing. “Err… They’re gone, too.”

Xena took a moment to rub the bridge of her nose before saying, “Okay then, I’m coming with you.”

Gabrielle knew better than to argue with her when she was in this type of mood, so she simply headed to the door of the barn and threw it open. The first thing she noticed was that the rain had cleared up completely. In fact, nothing outside even looked wet. “When did the storm end?” she asked as they crossed the yard.

“I’m not sure.” Xena ran her finger along a wooden fence that ran the boundary of the yard. “Dry as a bone,” she commented. “Strange.” Because she wasn’t paying attention, when Gabrielle suddenly stopped dead in her tracks, Xena collided with her from behind. “What the -- What’s wrong?”

“Xena, where’s the wall?” 

Indeed, the wall that surrounded the village of Cirra had vanished. And… “The buildings are so close together, too,” Xena said. “It’s exactly how I remember it from…”

Just then, the door to the main house opened and a young girl stepped out. She was only about fifteen years old, but she was tall and well-built for her age. She had wild, bleach-blonde hair and rich brown eyes. “Oh, hello!” she called brightly as she came towards them. “Father just sent me out to wake you. You’re welcome to join us for breakfast if you like.”

“It’s  _ Callisto _ !” Gabrielle hissed, stomping on Xena’s foot. “Xena,  _ what in Tartarus is going on _ ?!”

“I have no idea,” Xena managed, practically frozen with shock. Chills raced up and down her spine as the girl approached.

“I hope you slept okay,” the young Callisto said once she was in earshot. “Was there enough hay for your horse?”

Trying to regain her footing, Xena cleared her throat and said, “Uh, yeah. Everything was great. Thanks.”

As though she couldn’t stop herself, Gabrielle reached out and poked Callisto in the arm to check that she was not some hallucination. Then when Callisto looked at her like she was insane, she quickly covered with, “Oh, uh, you have… very large muscles for a girl your age, Callisto. Erm… It is Callisto, right?”

“Yes. Thank you, Gabrielle,” said Callisto politely. “My sister and I both work on the farm with our parents, so we’re very strong.” She shyly regarded the two women before her and added, “Not as strong as you two must be, though.”

“Not yet, anyway,” Xena muttered under her breath, and Gabrielle stepped on her foot again.

“We’d love to have breakfast with your family, wouldn’t we Xena?”

“Sure,” said Xena through gritted teeth. “Why not?” 

“Great!” Callisto’s whole face lit up with a smile. It was incredibly jarring for Xena and Gabrielle to see this expression on her face. Where they were used to seeing tormenting smirks, this was an expression of pure, innocent joy, and Gabrielle actually rubbed her eyes to make sure she wasn’t seeing things.

As they followed Callisto towards the house, Xena asked: “Hey, uh, Callisto, we think some of our stuff might have been stolen last night. Some weapons, armor, that sort of thing. You got any idea where they might have gone to?”

“Weapons?” repeated Callisto as though it was one of the oddest things she’d ever heard.

“Yeah. I had a sword, a chakram, and the armor I was wearing when we first got to town.”

“But you weren’t wearing armor when you came here,” said Callisto, confused. “You were wearing something like what you’ve got on now, just a linen tunic and pants. I did think it was odd you weren’t wearing a skirt, but I’ve seen some women wear pants when they are riding long distances. Which I suppose--”

Cutting her off, Xena said, “Callisto, are you telling me that I wasn’t wearing a leather outfit with a decorated breastplate and a skirt when we first met?”

“No, of course not. And I didn’t see a sword either. Can’t tell you about a ‘chakram’ though, since I have no idea what that is.”

While Xena and Gabrielle were still processing this, they reached the house and Callisto held the door open for them. The inside of the farmhouse wasn’t anything special as far as farmhouses went. Simple, hand-made furniture was placed strategically around the fire and around a heavy wooden table at the center of the room. But at the same time, the place had a cozy, lived-in feel because the walls were decorated with meticulously-sewn tapestries depicting various popular stories of the Greek gods. Gabrielle at once recognized the birth of Athena, depicted by a woman sprouting from the head of a wizened old man wearing a crown adorned with lightning bolts. Then she saw the story she had once told Iolas about people being born with four arms and four legs and two heads, only to be divided into two separate parts by the gods. Back then she hadn’t realized how personal that story would become to her; how it would shape her destiny in this lifetime and all her lifetimes to come. She glanced up at Xena and knew that she had seen it, too, by the firm set of her jaw. Gabrielle gave her a little smile before turning her attention to the rest of Callisto’s family who were all seated around the table.

Callisto’s father stood with a jovial smile to greet them, holding his forearm out for Xena to clasp. “Welcome,” he said, and he had a big, booming voice that seemed to fill the room with warmth and merriment. “I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet last night. I am Pankos. You already know Callisto, but this is my wife, Arleia, and my youngest daughter Zoe.”

“It’s nice to meet you all,” said Gabrielle as she took her turn clasping wrists with Pankos. “I’m Gabrielle, and this is my friend Xena.” Not a single sign of recognition could be seen among the small family at the mention of Xena’s name, and this did not go unnoticed by either one of them. “Thank you for allowing us to stay in your barn. Our horse was very grateful to get out of the storm.”

Four curious faces all turned their way at that. “Storm?” said Arleia.

Xena and Gabrielle shot each other a look and came to a mutual silent agreement to say no more on the topic. “Never mind,” Gabrielle said hastily. “You have a lovely home. Did you embroider these tapestries yourself?”

“Callisto did them,” said Pankos proudly. “They’re something, aren’t they? She’s a talented little sprite.”

Blushing, Callisto said, “Stop it, Daddy.”

“Oh, this is just way too bizarre,” muttered Xena out of the corner of her mouth, earning yet another foot stomp from Gabrielle.

“Have a seat,” said Arleia warmly. “We have fresh oats from the fields.”

They all sat around the table and enjoyed a hot, delicious breakfast. For a while Gabrielle was able to keep the family talking about themselves and their farm. They learned that the farm had several different crops and a few cows, and that Pankos was in fact the alderman of the village of Cirra. They learned that both Callisto and Zoe could read, which was unusual for two girls in a village like this. And they learned that the village itself and the surrounding areas were peaceful, and that there had been no reports of any marauding warlords for almost a decade. Cirra was a small but prosperous place, and the people here lived normal, happy lives.

But eventually the conversation reached a point where it became impossible for Xena and Gabrielle to avoid answering questions. Once Pankos had finished his meal, he threaded his fingers together over his full belly and leaned back in his seat, regarding the two strangers at his table. “So, where are you two headed?” he asked.

“Nowhere in particular,” said Xena. “We travel around from place to place.”

“That’s kind of dangerous, two women traveling unaccompanied, isn’t it?” said Arleia.

“Not exactly unaccompanied if there are two of us, right? But we do run in to our fair share of trouble. Gabrielle in particular seems to attract a lot of it,” said Xena, the corner of her lip quirking in a teasing smile. This earned her a slap on the shoulder from her friend, and the family laughed.

“Don’t listen to her,” protested Gabrielle. “She instigates just as much as I do.”

Callisto was looking back and forth between the two of them with wide brown eyes. “What do you do?” she asked. “What happens if you get into trouble?”

“We fight,” said Xena simply. 

Gabrielle hastened to add, “We try not to, of course, whenever possible. But sometimes there’s nothing else you can do but fight.”  _ Had to learn that the hard way _ , she thought.

“Never heard of women being fighters, aside from the Amazons,” said Pankos. “You any good?”

“We manage,” said Xena flatly.

“Speaking of which,” Gabrielle interjected, “we seem to have lost some of our stuff last night. Our weapons, Xena’s armor, and some of my scrolls.”

“Scrolls?” asked Callisto.

“Yes,” said Gabrielle with a warm smile at her. “I’m a bard.” She turned her attention back to Pankos. “Do you know if your village has any problems with thieves?”

“Thieves? No, nothing like that. Everyone is very honest here. Most of us don’t even own weapons. Wouldn’t know how to use ‘em.”

Gabrielle frowned and leaned back in her chair.

“Well, we can’t move on until we find them,” said Xena. “I hate to infringe on your hospitality, but could we trouble you for one more night in your barn, Pankos?”

“Of course, of course. You’re welcome to stay as long as you like. We’re more fortunate than a lot of families around here. It’s a blessing to be able to share that.”

“A blessing, huh?” said Xena thoughtfully in a tone Gabrielle knew well. It usually meant that Xena had gotten an idea about whatever particular tribulations they were encountering at that moment. She shot Gabrielle a look that wordlessly conveyed that she had figured out their next step and was ready to wrap things up here. “Well, we’ve got to stop by the market to resupply our travel rations. Can you tell us where that might be?”

“It’s right in the center of town. Callisto can show you, if you like,” Pankos offered.

Anyone else might not have noticed the split-second pause that followed this question, but Gabrielle did. She knew that at that moment, Xena was envisioning every possible scenario that could occur to help her achieve whatever her ultimate goal was, and in the end she would pick the one that worked best. Gabrielle loved how Xena could anticipate events and plan three steps ahead, effortlessly dreaming up elaborate schemes that were nearly impossible for their enemy to outmaneuver. Most the time Xena had already won the game long before anyone else had even taken their first turn, but she was the only one who knew it.

Still, though, Gabrielle was surprised at what Xena decided to do, because she answered: “Sure. We’d like that, wouldn’t we Gabrielle?”

“Of course,” replied Gabrielle obediently, knowing from experience that it was always better to trust Xena’s decisions, even if they did not immediately make sense to her.

And so it was that they found themselves walking down the dirt road that ran straight through the village of Cirra, being peppered with questions by a plucky young Callisto. Gabrielle couldn’t help pinching herself in the arm to make sure this wasn’t some fever-induced dream. It hurt, and she felt woozy as she confronted the stark reality that this was… reality. Shaking her head, she focused on listening to Callisto’s questions, if only because it kept her brain busy enough to prevent her from panicking.

“Where were you before you came here?” Callisto asked.

“Rome,” Xena answered curtly.

“In  _ Italia _ ?!” Calisto stared up at her with frank astonishment and admiration. “But that’s so far away! What were you doing there?”

“Visiting an old friend,” drawled Xena, and Gabrielle gave her a wry look.

“I’ve never been outside Cirra,” said Callisto wistfully. “I hope to travel some day, too.”

“It’s a big world. There’s a lot to see,” commented Gabrielle.

“Where else have you two been?”

“All over,” Gabrielle said. “Chin, India, Britannia…”

“Wow,” breathed Callisto, awestruck. “And you can really fight, too?”

“If we have to, yes.” Xena had a feeling she knew what the next question would be.

And she was correct. “Could you teach me?” Callisto asked eagerly.

_ That sounds like a categorically bad idea _ , thought Xena. The last thing she wanted to do was corrupt Callisto yet again by giving her the tools to become what Xena knew she eventually became. But then again, this Cirra had never been burned down, and that was the undeniable catalyst for Callisto’s transformation. Since Xena had no intention of burning the village to the ground this time around, it might turn out okay. On the other hand, there was the fact that Xena had absolutely no idea what was actually going on here. Was this like that time she’d been given the opportunity to see what her life would have been like had she never picked up a sword? Or was this something else entirely? So far she had no reason to suspect that she and Gabrielle were in any immediate danger in this bizarre alternate universe, which was a relief considering all their weapons had disappeared. Plus there was the fact that this time Gabrielle was with her, and that always tended to make things easier to deal with.

All these thoughts ran through her mind in a flash, but the only thing she said was: “We’ll see.” Wanting to change the subject, she quickly asked a question of her own before Callisto could verbalize her next. “Callisto, is there a temple in this town? Gabrielle and I would like to pay our respects to whoever your patron god is here.”

This caught Gabrielle’s attention, and Xena could tell by the expression on her face that she’d caught on to what Xena was thinking. The woman who’s barn they’d fallen asleep in the night before had been a priestess of the temple of Hebe, and Xena suspected that Adoni had something to do with the fact that they seemed to have traveled back in time overnight.

“Not here,” Callisto informed her, “but there’s a temple for Apollo in the next town over. It’s only about a day’s ride from here.”

“What about Hebe? Is there one of those nearby?” Gabrielle asked.

“How strange that you should mention that! My father said he heard of a new one opening in Pydna just last week.”

“How far is that?”

“I’m not quite sure. Three days, maybe?”

Xena sighed inwardly. A three day’s journey without her sword and chakram did not sound particularly appealing, no matter how safe Pankos said the area was. “Alright. Thank you.” In a voice quiet enough for only Gabrielle to hear she said: “Let’s plan to head there at first light tomorrow.”

“Sounds good to me,” said Gabrielle.

They split up at the market, Callisto going with Gabrielle to buy spices and rations for the road while Xena went to the blacksmith’s stall to see about getting a replacement sword. She was disappointed, however. “We don’t smelt weapons here,” the blacksmith told her. “Never even had anyone ask me for one, I don’t think.”

“Well isn’t this place just downright idyllic,” grumbled Xena sarcastically. “Don’t suppose you’ve had anyone come by trying to sell a well-worn sword with a studded black scabbard, or maybe a circular bladed weapon about this big?” She used her hands to demonstrate the size of her chakram.

“Afraid not. And even if someone did have one up for offer, I wouldn’t take it. I got no demand for that kind of thing.”

Annoyed, Xena nodded crisply and took her leave of him, wandering aimlessly among the stalls in the hopes of finding something she and Gabrielle could use as weapons. The only thing she found was a couple of brooms, so she bought those. She paid for them using Gabrielle’s five dinars that she’d won the day before, and as she did so it occurred to her that the thief had somehow managed to miss her coin purse. This struck her as very strange, exacerbating an already outrageously confusing situation. While she pondered this, she took the brooms back to the blacksmith and had him saw off the brushes at the ends so they could be used as quarterstaves. It wasn’t ideal, but it was better than nothing.

When she met up with her two blonde companions, she gave Gabrielle one of the staves. “Back to basics, huh?” said Gabrielle, hefting its weight in her hands, finding it oddly comforting and nostalgic. She hadn’t used one of these since before they’d went to India over half a year ago. 

“It’s all I could find. Technically we’re supposed to sweep the floor with them, but you know me. I’ve never been very domestic.”

As they walked back to Callisto’s house, Gabrielle brought up the same thing that Xena herself had also been thinking about in the market. “The thief didn’t steal our money,” she said. 

“I know. I was so distraught over my weapons that I didn’t notice it this morning.”

“Xena, why on earth would someone take my scrolls, but not my coin purse?”

For what felt like the hundredth time that day, Xena replied: “I have no idea.”

When they got back to the house, Xena and Gabrielle spent some time sparring with the staves to brush up on their skills. Callisto sat on the fence a safe distance away, watching them in awe. “Should she really be seeing this?” panted Gabrielle as she deflected a series of stinging blows from Xena.

“Who knows?” responded Xena easily. She was not even remotely winded yet. “Personally I’m hoping this whole thing is a trick of the gods and nothing we do here ends up making a difference.”

“Pretty big gamble to make--WOAH!” With a graceful backhanded sweep, Xena took Gabrielle’s feet out from under her, dumping her on her butt in the grass. “Ow. That was not very nice,” Gabrielle said. “My butt’s going to hurt for a week.”

“Sorry.” Xena knelt down next to her. “Need me to kiss it for you?”

It was hard to say which one of them was more surprised at the blatantly flirtatious comment.

“Okay, that… That was out of line. Sorry. It just kinda slipped out,” said Xena contritely. She stood and offered her hand to help Gabrielle up.

“It’s okay,” Gabrielle said shortly, taking her hand and letting Xena pull her to her feet. “I mean, we’ve always kind of… Done that. You know.”

Xena did know. They’d never been particularly shy when it came to engaging in borderline flirtatious banter. It only felt different today because they had, in a somewhat cryptic way, acknowledged for the first time that there were deeper feelings between them the night before. Unsure what else to say, Xena stood there awkwardly and watched as Gabrielle brushed dirt off her skirt.

“Really, it’s fine,” Gabrielle assured her when she noticed Xena still staring at her. “Look, please don’t go getting all weird on me now. Not when everything else about our current situation is so  _ unbelievably _ weird. I need you to be my totally normal best friend who totally normally offers to kiss my butt and it’s a totally normal thing to do. Right?”

One of Xena’s eyebrows quirked in amusement, a slow smile coming over her lips. “Oh, of course, Gabrielle,” she drawled. “Because if I had to pick a word to describe our friendship, it would definitely be ‘normal.’”


	3. North

When they left the following morning, Callisto and her mother saw them off. “If you won’t join us for breakfast, will you please at least accept this for the road?” said Arleia, pressing a wrapped bundle of food into Gabrielle’s hands.

“Really, Arleia, you don’t have to do that,” Gabrielle said, genuinely touched by the gesture of kindness.

“I know I don’t. But I want to. Please take it.”

Accepting the bundle, Gabrielle smiled and said, “Alright. Thank you.”

“Are you going to come back?” Callisto asked hopefully.

“If we can,” Gabrielle said. “We still need to find our things that went missing.”

“I’ll look for them while you’re gone!” said Callisto, excited to have thought of a way to help.

“Yes, we all will,” agreed Arleia, putting her hand on her daughter’s shoulder.

Xena came out of the barn with Argo saddled up and ready to go. “Be careful,” she said. “Anyone who steals a weapon is likely to use one, too.”

It struck Gabrielle as so strange to see Xena leading the travel-ready horse in a simple dress instead of her usual armor, and it was even stranger that she was armed only with a staff. Xena had never traveled without her chakram before.  _ Just one more crazy thing to add to the pile _ , thought Gabrielle.

“Time for us to get moving,” Xena said. “Thank you for all your hospitality. We won’t forget it.”

“Please come back whenever you like. You are always welcome here. Safe travels to you both.” Arleia nodded to both of them, then she and Callisto turned to reenter the house. Callisto cast frequent glances behind her to watch them go, a wistful, jealous look in her eye.

As they headed towards the road that would take them north to the temple of Hebe, Gabrielle said, “You know, I have to admit that I kind of like Callisto as a young girl.”

“Makes perfect sense to me,” replied Xena. “She’s exactly like you were when we first met. Precocious, talkative, curious.” A brief pause. “Annoying.”

Predictably, Gabrielle laughed and lightly slapped Xena’s staff with her own. “You forgot smart, well-spoken, and artistic.”

“Well, you didn’t let me finish,” said Xena innocently. “I was getting there.”

“Uh huh. I’m sure you were,” said Gabrielle sarcastically.

A contemplative, companionable silence followed this as they eased into the familiar rhythm of travel. It wasn’t until they stopped for lunch that Xena verbalized something she’d been thinking about. “Those people had no idea who I was,” she commented casually.

Unable to resist paying Xena back for her teasing earlier, Gabrielle said, “Does that disappoint you? Don’t tell me fame has gone to your head.”

“Funny girl,” said Xena. “What I mean is that if we have somehow traveled back in time to before my army raided Cirra, then we are living in the years when I was at the pinnacle of my warlord career. Everyone in Greece knew who I was, and they feared me. Nobody would ever have offered me a place in their barn for the night.”

“Where were you with your army before you came to Cirra?”

“I spent nearly two years conquering villages just across the Nestos River, not fifty miles from here. There is no way the people in this area have never heard of me. Cirra wasn’t the only village I slaughtered like cattle. That’s the kind of word that gets around.” She stood and turned away from Gabrielle to lean against a nearby tree and stare off into the distance, crossing her arms over her chest.

A light breeze made the bottom of Xena’s dress billow around her legs, and her black hair dance around on her back. Gabrielle sat watching her, feeling her heart ache with love. It felt like the most natural thing in the world to rise and walk around so she could face Xena. She reached out and gently coaxed Xena’s arms apart, then slid her own around her waist, leaning in to the hug until her head was resting on Xena’s shoulder. After a moment she felt Xena’s tense muscles relax against her, and she let out a tiny sigh of contentment. “I love you, you know,” she whispered.

“I know,” replied Xena, wrapping her arms around Gabrielle and bringing her closer. “But sometimes I really wish you didn’t.”

Pulling back just enough to meet her eyes, Gabrielle gave her a questioning look.

“The way you make me feel, Gabrielle… The joy and happiness and…  _ completeness _ … That you have brought to my life…” She reached out and placed a hand on the side of Gabrielle’s face. “It hardly seems fair. Not to the people I’ve harmed. And not to you.”

A spark of anger lit in Gabrielle’s eyes, catching Xena by surprise. Then Gabrielle took hold of Xena’s hand and moved it away before stepping completely out of her embrace. “Don’t you dare try to convince me how I should feel about you, Xena,” she said, her voice carrying a note of warning. “Do you think I’ve been walking by your side for four years without learning a single thing about you? I know exactly who you are and what you’ve done. If you want to ignore what’s happening between us because you’re punishing yourself for what you did in the past, we can talk about that. But I refuse to discuss the ridiculous notion that my love for you is somehow bad for me, because it absolutely is  _ not _ .” She turned, picked up her pack, and stalked off down the road without looking back, pounding the ground with her staff as she took each step.

Stunned by Gabrielle’s unexpected outburst, it took Xena several minutes to force herself into action. She gathered up the rest of their things and led Argo back onto the trail, still hearing the echoes of Gabrielle’s words in her ears. The bard was farther down the path, and for the moment Xena didn’t make any effort to catch up with her.

Was she hurting Gabrielle by denying what was obviously a reciprocated love? Was she wrong to unilaterally make this decision for the both of them? She found herself remembering the earliest days of their friendship, remembering all the times when she sent Gabrielle away to keep her out of danger. Gabrielle would always buck against the orders, wanting to stay with Xena to help, and sometimes Xena's refusal of those wishes had led to hurt feelings and even mortal danger for her young friend. They had only truly become close when Xena had learned to trust Gabrielle, to rely on her, even. The closeness came when she began viewing Gabrielle as an equal.

How was this any different? She was still keeping Gabrielle at arm’s length; still disregarding Gabrielle’s wishes.

Xena did trust Gabrielle. She believed that Gabrielle knew the truth of her own feelings. If she said she loved Xena, she meant it. At that moment Xena realized that she couldn’t let herself make determinations about whether or not this was a good thing for Gabrielle. That wasn’t up to her to decide.

But that didn’t change the fact that it hardly seemed fair to all her victims to be so happy. And that was only the half of it.

The real problem, the one she couldn’t bring herself to talk to Gabrielle about, was the fact that they were soulmates. Could they ever know if their love was true, or if it was simply the result of whatever cosmic force was binding them to one another? One part of her, the part that yearned for Gabrielle with every fiber of her being, wanted to say “Who cares?” But the other part, that very core part of her that valued her independence and free will and maintained a healthy distrust of cosmic forces as a rule, knew that it mattered a great deal. When Gabrielle had begun following her around the world, was that something she’d felt compelled to do, or was it a choice? And when Gabrielle had come to her just now and interrupted her dark thoughts with a compassionate embrace and words of love, could she really have learned to accept Xena’s darkness if it wasn’t intrinsically tied to her own light?

For her own part, the answer was simple. No one could meet Gabrielle and not love her, and Xena was no exception. She was easy to love, and so Xena knew without a doubt that their intertwined destinies had no bearing on her feelings whatsoever. No matter the circumstances in which they met, Xena would always have fallen for Gabrielle. 

But the same could not be said about Xena. She was in no way an easy person to love.

It was too depressing for Xena to think about right now. Not when they were stuck in the past with no idea how to get back. No, right now they needed to be together. She had to fix this immediately. She cast her eyes around the area, looking for something to help her with her task. Her eyes alighted on some wildflowers just a bit off the path, and a tiny smile graced her lips.

Gabrielle could hear Xena and Argo catching up with her, and she slowed her steps to allow them to approach. By now she had cooled off a little, mostly because she knew that Xena would take her words to heart. She’d said what needed to be said, and now it was up to Xena to figure out where to go from here.

Once Xena got close enough, she came up right behind her friend and reached around, holding a bundle of freshly-picked flowers right in front of Gabrielle’s face. Xena rejoiced inwardly when she saw the resulting smile on Gabrielle’s lips.

“I’m sorry,” Xena said softly. “That was a stupid thing to say. It won’t happen again.”

“It better not,” replied Gabrielle testily, taking the flowers and breathing in their scent. When Xena held out her arm in invitation, Gabrielle linked hers with it as they continued down the path side-by-side.

By nightfall they reached another village, this one much larger than Cirra. Gabrielle traded a story for a night in the inn and a place in the stable for Argo, and Xena sat at a table in the back as she listened to the story of how she and Hercules had freed Prometheus from his chains. This was one of the ones it was easier for Xena to hear since she wasn’t the sole heroic figure in it. But she couldn’t help but notice that Gabrielle seemed a little off her game. No one else would have noticed it, but Xena heard how some of the more minor details had been left out, and how she seemed to have trouble describing the combat as well as she usually did. Xena suspected that the bard must be tired, or perhaps still distracted by the fight they’d had earlier.

About halfway through the story, a quiet conversation between a man and a woman at the table next to her caught her interest, and she turned her attention to listen more carefully.

“I’ve never heard this one before,” said the man. “It’s a good one, huh?”

“Yes,” agreed the woman. “And the storyteller is very talented. Except I don’t understand why she’s decided to add this Xena character to the tale. Isn’t it good enough with Hercules alone?”

“Maybe she’s one of those new female-empowerment storytellers that have been popping up in recent years. I have to admit, I kind of like this Xena. She’s spunky.”

“Hmm, yeah, I agree. She’s more interesting than Hercules, anyway.”

Xena quickly hid a grin behind her mug of ale. For that compliment, she was buying Gabrielle’s dinner tonight. Only Gabrielle could make a room full of people who knew absolutely nothing about her think she was more entertaining than Hercules.

Then she realized the more important implication of the overheard exchange: Here, too, these people had never heard of her. Not as a warlord, and not as a hero either.  _ Where are we?  _ she thought.  _ And why wasn’t that the first thing I noticed? _ She tilted her mug to look at the ale. It hadn’t tasted any stronger than any other ale she’d had. Maybe she, too, was more tired than she’d realized. For once she was glad she’d let Gabrielle talk her into an indoor room with a real bed for the night.

It always took Gabrielle several minutes to make her way over to Xena’s table after finishing a story because people stopped her to chat, and usually she was happy to do so. But tonight, Xena could tell she wasn’t in the mood. She smiled politely and thanked everyone for their praise, but her eyes kept drifting over to Xena in that way they often did when she was silently pleading for a rescue. Only too happy to oblige, Xena stood and walked over to the bartender. “Can we have our meals brought up to our room?” she asked, sliding a coin across the bar to him.

“No problem,” the bartender replied, taking the coin and pocketing it.

“Thanks.” Then Xena crossed the room and casually put her hand on Gabrielle’s shoulder. “Sorry, folks, the storyteller is tired. Thanks for being such a good audience.” 

“Aw, why don’t you both join us for a drink, huh?” said a corpulent man with a ruddy face who was obviously drunk.

“No thanks,” said Xena shortly. She put her arm around Gabrielle’s shoulders and steered her up the stairs. 

“People are a lot less intimidated by you when you’re not wearing your armor,” observed Gabrielle as they entered their room.

“What makes you say that?”

As she set her pack down and began building a fire in the fireplace, Gabrielle explained, “That man who wanted to have a drink with us. He never would have tried that if you’d been dressed like Xena: Warrior Princess.” She said the last three words in a robust, dramatic voice, as though she were reading from one of her missing scrolls. When Xena didn’t immediately answer her, she turned to see a troubled expression on her face. “What’s wrong?”

“They don’t know me here, either,” Xena said. “The couple sitting next to me thought you’d made me up and added me to the story.”

“Well, if it’s true that we’ve somehow traveled back in time, then technically that story hasn’t happened yet. The only Xena they could have heard of is the warlord, right?”

Xena couldn’t believe she hadn’t thought of that. “You’re right,” she said, flabbergasted. She rubbed her face, frustrated at the inexplicable loss of her mental capacities. “I don’t know what’s wrong with me today. I keep missing things that should be obvious.”

“You know, I kind of felt the same way when I was telling my story. I accidentally left out…”

“The bit about the shopkeep trying to sell you the fake Aphrodite shell, I know. I noticed.”

A bright smile lit up Gabrielle’s face. “You did? Wow. I had no idea you listened that closely to my stories.”

The lighthearted comment hit Xena square in the center of her chest as though she’d been kicked by a horse. For the briefest moment she was back in that jail cell with Gabrielle awaiting their crucifixion, lamenting on every last mistake she’d made that had led to the death of the one person in all the world who deserved it the least. And in that cacophony of regret and shame and defeat, the only thing she could think to say to Gabrielle that would encapsulate these feelings was that she was sorry she'd never bothered to read her scrolls.

She was across the room in a flash, pulling Gabrielle into a firm hug. One hand buried itself in Gabrielle’s hair as she pressed her against her shoulder, wanting her as close as possible, as quickly as possible. “I love you, you know,” she said, her voice wavering with emotion.

“I know,” Gabrielle replied, melting into Xena’s embrace. 

“About what I said before…”

“You don’t have to say anything, Xena.”

“Yes, I do. It’s true that I was trying to make a judgement call that wasn’t mine to make. I wasn’t respecting your autonomy, and I want you to know that I understand that now. You had every right to be angry with me.”

Sighing, Gabrielle said, “And yet your answer is still no, right? Even though it’s what I want? What we both want?”

Looking down at Gabrielle, seeing the open expression of trust and love on her face, Xena wanted nothing more than to say yes; to give in to this incredible feeling and surrender to this overwhelming desire. Every time Gabrielle looked at her this way, Xena could feel a curious tug from deep inside her, almost as though something in her core was reaching out for Gabrielle with all its might. She had come to associate it with their bond as soulmates -- it was her soul reaching out for its counterpart.

Feeling it reminded her of why she couldn’t say yes. 

“I’m sorry, Gabrielle,” she whispered. 

Gabrielle boldly reached up and lightly ran her fingertips along the side of Xena’s face, watching as her eyes slid closed and she ever-so-slightly leaned in to the contact. “Did it ever occur to you,” she said softly, “that I might not give you a choice in the matter, the way you haven’t given me one?”

Taking Gabrielle’s hand away from her face and lacing their fingers together, Xena managed a small smile. “It hasn’t,” she said. “Because I know you well enough to know that you will respect a no when it’s been said.”

They looked at one another in silence for a moment, and then Gabrielle sighed leaned forward to rest her forehead on Xena’s shoulder. “Okay,” she said simply.

For a long time they stood holding each other, indulging in the quiet intimacy of their closeness. Only when there was a knock at the door did they separate. “Uh, that’ll be our dinner,” said Xena, suddenly feeling awkward and unsure of herself. “I asked the barkeep to bring it up.”

“And just when I thought I couldn’t love you any more than I already do,” said Gabrielle, batting her eyelashes at Xena. “How did you know I was starving?”

“When aren’t you?” replied Xena, smirking at her friend as she went to answer the door. As they ate their meal in companionable silence, Xena reflected on how Gabrielle had once again managed to easily diffuse a potentially uncomfortable situation with cheerfulness and humor, just as she’d done the day before while they were sparring. The memory of her unintentional flirtatious comment made her realise that her mental lapses from earlier that evening were not an isolated event. In fact she’d been feeling out of sorts ever since they’d awoken in this strange timeline. Perhaps that was why someone had been able to sneak in to the barn and steal all their belongings.

One thing was for sure: They needed to figure out what was going on. Hopefully they would find their answers at the temple of Hebe.

It was with renewed vigor that they set out the next morning, and they kept moving for the next day and a half at a decent clip. Sometimes when they traveled they meandered a bit, lazily enjoying the scenery or seeing what kind of trouble they could get in to, but not this time. This time they walked with singular purpose, stopping only when absolutely necessary.

They reached the temple by noon on the third day. The temple was smaller than Xena had expected, just a simple one-room stone building. She and Gabrielle climbed the steps and entered, finding it empty except for one woman who was kneeling before the altar that was the focal point of the temple. Her back was facing the door.

“Welcome,” said the woman without turning around, “Xena and Gabrielle.”

“Oh, thank the gods,” said Gabrielle with obvious relief, sagging against her staff for support and putting a hand over her heart.

Xena chuckled, knowing exactly how Gabrielle felt. They had been expected by the priestess of this temple, which could only mean they were probably about to get the information they were looking for. 

The priestess stood but kept her back to them. “I’ve been waiting for you.”

“We gathered,” said Xena flatly. “You wanna explain what’s going on here?”

Finally, the priestess turned, and Xena and Gabrielle both recognized her at once. 

“Anna?” said Gabrielle. “What are you doing here?”

“Can a goddess not visit her own temple?” asked Anna, spreading her arms and looking around the stone room.

Staring openly, Gabrielle said, “ _ You’re _ Hebe?”

“I’m Anna. I’m Hebe.” Then the woman’s skin began to crinkle and age, until Adoni stood before them. “I’m Adoni.”

“Great,” said Xena, unimpressed. “How about telling us why you’ve sent us fifteen years back in time?”

“I didn’t send you back, Xena. I rewound time for you. I’ve changed your destiny, and that of your friend. Now you have never committed your crimes. This is the ultimate forgiveness. I’ve not only relieved you of your guilt, I’ve removed the reason for it.”

“So in this universe, Xena never became a warlord?” asked Gabrielle.

“There is only one universe, Gabrielle. And it is the one we are living in now.” The goddess shifted back into the form of Anna and walked over to Xena. She reached out and put her hand against her face. “You are freed of all your burdens. You may live free now, safe in the knowledge that you have never murdered a single innocent soul.”

Xena took a step backwards, away from Hebe’s touch. “But I have. I’ve killed so many.”

“You haven’t!” insisted Hebe. “I have undone all that. It is my gift to you.”

“And why do I merit a gift of this magnitude? Why reset the entire history of the world for my sake?”

“Because you deserve it,” responded Hebe. “In the last few years you’ve shown a great capacity for empathy, kindness and love. I believe you have earned the redemption you have been seeking so desperately. This is it, Xena.  _ This _ is your redemption. Now there are no crimes to redeem yourself for.”

Glancing over at her companion, Xena said, “Then why drag Gabrielle into this, too? She’s done nothing for which she must redeem herself.”

With a kind smile, Hebe said, “I could hardly expect you to happily live out the rest of your days without Gabrielle by your side, could I?”

“Fair enough,” drawled Xena, giving Gabrielle the ghost of a wink.

Linking her arm with Xena’s, Gabrielle asked: “Is this why all our weapons and my scrolls went missing?”

Hebe shook her head. “You’ve never owned those weapons. You never wrote those scrolls.”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and slapped her own forehead. “Of course. Silly me. I guess during all those nights I thought I was writing by the fire I was actually knitting hats for Argo.”

“Those nights never happened,” replied Hebe, casting her an annoyed glare.

“And what about the fires?” deadpanned Xena.

“This is ridiculous! Of course they happened!” exclaimed Gabrielle, frustrated. “How could they not have happened if I remember them happening? I lived them!”

“There is no other way I can explain this to you. You will come to understand eventually.”

Xena said, “We don’t want to understand. We want to go back to the way things were. I appreciate the gesture, Hebe, but this isn’t a reward for me. All I want is to go back to my normal life and seek my redemption in my own way. I don’t need a god to decide when I’ve made up for my mistakes. I’ll make that determination for myself.”

For a long moment, Hebe stood silently and stared intently at her, evaluating her the way Gabrielle might evaluate an apple she was thinking of buying at a market. Then she nodded shortly and said: “Things will remain as they are. You will thank me in time.”

And then she vanished in a burst of golden sparkles.

“Hey!” Gabrielle yelled to the empty temple. “Get back here!”

“Hebe!” Xena tried to inject the same tone of voice that she often used to summon Ares. “Hebe, we’re not through here!”

A voice echoed through the temple: “Go now, Xena. Have peace. Live.”


	4. Slipping Under

They waited three full days at the temple of Hebe in the hopes of forcing the goddess’s hand, but they neither saw nor heard from her again, and soon they ran out of food and were forced to head to the nearest village. For lack of any better plan, they decided to go back to Cirra until they could figure out some way to fix their situation. The weather was lovely and they encountered no trouble on the road. Xena couldn’t remember the last time they’d traveled for nine days without getting into a single fight. They kept their staves tied to Argo’s saddle almost the entire time, and it seemed that without weapons and armor, no one considered them a target.

Callisto was overjoyed to see them return. She was outside feeding the pigs when they broke through the treeline and approached the farm, but she immediately dropped her bucket and dashed off to the house, yelling, “Mother! Father! They’re back!”

“Gods,” said Gabrielle emphatically. “I’d forgotten how strange it is to see her like this.”

“Me too,” replied Xena. “Guess we’d better get used to it, though. This is Callisto as she was before she became a murderer. Before her spirit was corrupted. Before… _I_ corrupted her.”

“Don’t worry, Xena. You never corrupted her, remember? That’s all gone now,” said Gabrielle.

Neither one of them was sure if the comment was supposed to be sarcastic or not.

Pankos came out of the house with Callisto right on his heels, grinning widely at the two women as they led their horse towards him. “Welcome back,” he said. “I hope your travels were safe.”

“They were,” said Xena. “But now we find ourselves in the unusual position of having nowhere to go. Could we impose upon you for another night in your barn?”

“I can do you one better. Callisto, bring their horse to the stable,” he said to his daughter.

“Of course, Father,” replied Callisto cheerfully. She took Argo’s reigns and walked off towards the barn.

To Xena and Gabrielle, Pankos said: “Come.”

They followed him around to the other side of the house, to a part of the farm that Xena and Gabrielle had not visited before. It was closer to the town, but hidden by the barn and the house where Callisto’s family lived. As they rounded the side of the dwelling, they saw that there was a third structure on the farm, a small guest house. Pankos produced a key from a pocket in his tunic and unlocked the door, letting the two women enter first.

It was a simple building, just two rooms. They entered into a kitchen with a stove, fireplace and wooden table. Beyond that was a bedroom with a single large bed. And that was all it had. 

“I built this with my own hands. We plan to let Callisto live here once she’s old enough to marry,” explained Pankos, “but that won’t be for some time yet. You are welcome to stay here until you have some idea of where you are going.”

Xena glanced over at Gabrielle, having a silent conversation with her. Seeing the agreement in her green eyes, Xena said, “That might not be for some time yet, Pankos. Can we pay you for your hospitality?”

“I would be happy to have your assistance on the farm from time to time. We are looking to perform some maintenance and upgrades before winter comes. You look strong and capable with your hands. Help me with that, and I will consider us even.”

After a quick check-in with Gabrielle for confirmation, Xena stuck out her hand for Pankos to shake. “You’ve got a deal. Thank you very much.”

“Think nothing of it,” said Pankos with a wide smile. “Join us for dinner tonight to celebrate, won’t you?”

“We’d be happy to.” Movement by the open door caught Xena’s eye, and she couldn’t help but smile. “You don’t have to hide, Callisto. You can come inside.”

Poking her head around the doorway, Callisto looked at her with a hopeful smile. “You’re staying?” she asked with restrained excitement.

“For a little while, anyway,” confirmed Xena.

The smile grew and Callisto stepped fully inside the house. “I’m so glad! We’re going to have so much fun together.”

For a moment, Xena could have sworn she heard an echo of the old Callisto in the girl’s voice, the Callisto she knew well. The one who’d murdered Gabrielle’s husband just to get a rise out of Xena. The one who was cold, and merciless… and broken. The one that Xena had created. That Callisto had always been singular in her frank admiration of Xena, in the genuine enjoyment she got out of watching Xena perform her impossible stunts. It was a twisted sort of respect, but a respect nonetheless. And Xena could see respect in the young Callisto’s eyes now. Could she end up corrupting this Callisto, too? 

She tried to put it out of her mind. After all, as Hebe would say: That Callisto never existed.

“I’m sure we will,” she said, glancing over at Gabrielle, who gave her a little smile. Even just that glance spoke volumes; Xena knew at once that they were having the exact same thoughts. It was always like that between her and Gabrielle. She felt that tug again, and it made her heart ache with love.

In her parting shot, Hebe had insisted that one day Xena would come to thank her. Xena seriously doubted this for the most part, but she did have to admit: She was grateful to Hebe that she’d thought to bring Gabrielle along, too. 

Callisto and her father left Xena and Gabrielle alone to unpack their things. As soon as the door closed behind them, they looked at each other and laughed helplessly. “Xena, we just agreed to live on Callisto’s family farm,” said Gabrielle.

“The one I burned down fifteen years ago,” added Xena. “Don’t forget that part.”

Looking around the small house, Gabrielle said, “Do you think we’ll ever get used to it?”

“I don’t want to be here long enough to get used to it.”

A strange look came over Gabrielle’s face, and she turned away from Xena to begin unpacking, setting her bag on the table and rummaging through it.

 _That was interesting,_ thought Xena. She put her hands on her hips and asked firmly: “What?”

“Nothing,” said Gabrielle, still not looking at her.

“If it were nothing, you would tell me.” Xena crossed the room and put her hands on Gabrielle’s shoulders, turning her around. “What is it?”

“It’s just… Well… If it’s true that you never did the things you did, then maybe…” Gabrielle shrugged. “Maybe this is an opportunity for you to finally be happy, you know? Maybe we shouldn’t be so quick to turn our noses up at that chance.”

“Gabrielle…”

“No, please hear me out, okay?” When Xena quieted and nodded, Gabrielle continued: “I know that you think you’re not through with your redemption, but you heard what Hebe said. You never did those things. And if we keep everything the same, you never will.” She took Xena’s hands in hers, rubbing her thumbs against the backs of them. “Couldn’t we just… live?”

“Gabrielle, I _did_ do those things. Even if those actions don’t exist anymore, they will always be in here,” Xena tapped her own forehead, “and in here.” She tapped her own chest. “Redemption isn’t the act of making it up to each individual person I harmed. It’s about balancing the light and the dark in my soul. There is darkness in my soul that I cannot and _should_ not deny. I can’t face my darkness if I don’t have a way of bringing it into the light.”

“And what of Callisto’s family? What Hebe did brought them back, and probably everyone else you ever killed. Can you be responsible for taking that away again?” Gabrielle swallowed audibly, then added, “Isn’t that the same as killing them again?”

Hurt flashed across Xena’s face, and Gabrielle immediately wished she could take it back. “Yes, it is,” Xena said. She pulled away and went to stand by the window, looking across the yard at the farmhouse where Callisto’s family lived. “But… That’s how it must be.”

Gabrielle approached her and put a hand on the small of her back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. It was a cruel thing to say.”

“No, it needed to be said. Putting things back as they were will cause these people to die again. But I can’t allow the entire world to change just for my sake. It’s not the way of things, and it could have repercussions we don’t even realize yet. Besides,” Xena continued with a wry smile, “you know as well as I do that these god-generated alternate reality scenarios never work out the way you want them to. The other shoe will drop eventually.”

“You’re right about that. And I do understand why you want to go back to normal. I admit that I’m mostly speaking from a place of pure selfishness.”

 _Right,_ thought Xena. _Because if my guilt is keeping us apart, then eliminating that would leave us free to be together. I wish my guilt was our only problem._

They went over to the main house and had dinner. It was a jovial, lighthearted affair, and the two of them felt extremely welcomed. Afterwards they sat with the family for a while in front of the fire, and Gabrielle told a story. She kept it light, telling the story of meeting Princess Diana, who looked exactly like Xena, and all the hyjinx that ensued, keeping the family laughing from start to finish.

“What a great story,” said Callisto, awestruck. “That really happened to you?”

“Uh…” Gabrielle looked over at Xena, who quirked an eyebrow in hidden amusement. “No, I guess it didn’t.”

“I didn’t think so,” said Zoe smugly. “There’s no way there’s another Xena out there!”

“Actually, there are four,” chimed in Xena. “Gabrielle wrote a couple of sequels to this story that are also excellent.”

Callisto’s eyes lit up. “Can we hear them, Gabrielle? Please?”

“Yes, please?” added Zoe.

“Not tonight,” said Arleia. “It’s getting late, and we’ve got a lot of work to do tomorrow. And I’m sure Xena and Gabrielle are tired from their travels.”

Taking that as their cue to leave, Xena and Gabrielle thanked the family for dinner and headed out, crossing the yard back to the guest house. As soon as they got in, Gabrielle went to her pack and got out her quill, ink, and a blank parchment. “Going to write for a while?” Xena asked.

“Yeah. I figure I might as well get to work rewriting all my scrolls. You know, just in case we never find a way back.”

“I suppose it’s as good a way to pass the time as any. It’s been a long time, but as I recall the life of a farmgirl isn’t exactly teeming with excitement.”

“Getting bored already?” Gabrielle teased.

“With you around? Never.” Xena winked at her and walked into the bedroom to change out of her dress into her sleep wear. Raising her voice so Gabrielle could still hear, she said, “As long as we’re here, though, maybe I’ll take up some of my old hobbies, too. I don’t have my sword to run drills with, so I’ll need something to keep myself busy.”

“What kind of hobbies did you have in mind?”

“Back home in Amphipolis I used to do various crafts before I took up the sword. Whittling, basket weaving, needlepoint… That kind of thing.” When she came out of the bedroom, Gabrielle stared at her with a furrowed brow. “What?”

“I’m just trying to picture you doing needlepoint. I’m having a really, really hard time with it.”

Xena laughed and flicked some water at her from a nearby basin.

“Hey! Watch the scroll!” Gabrielle encircled the parchment on the table with her arms and protected it with her torso when Xena repeated the action twice more in quick succession. “Okay, that’s it, warrior princess!” She took her feathered quill and advanced on her friend, holding it out threateningly as if she was going to draw on her face.

“Don’t even think about it!” Backing away, Xena raised both hands to protect herself, but Gabrielle continued to come closer. She turned and ran into the bedroom, and Gabrielle gave chase. Soon she’d cornered Xena against the wall next to the bed

“Trapped!” exclaimed Gabrielle triumphantly. “You’ve got nowhere to go.”

“You think?” drawled Xena, smirking. She let out a short battle cry and grabbed Gabrielle by her waist, hooked one of her feet around one of Gabrielle’s and pulled, unsettling the smaller woman’s balance. Before Gabrielle knew it, she was flat on her back in the bed, blinking up at the ceiling. 

But Gabrielle hadn’t traveled with the world’s finest warrior for four years without learning a few tricks of her own. She grasped Xena’s arm and pulled her down with her, using the warrior’s own weight and momentum to her advantage. The result was that Xena collapsed half on top of her, both of them laughing hysterically. 

After their laughter had died down and they lay there catching their breath, Gabrielle felt a great wave of love wash over her. Nothing filled her heart with more joy than seeing Xena this happy and relaxed. She found herself again indulging a shameful hope -- the hope that they might not ever find a way to fix the timeline. If only Xena could be released from her guilt, Gabrielle could see this side of her every day. Xena was so beautiful when she smiled like this, unabashed and unburdened. Gabrielle stared openly, drinking in the sight of her and memorizing the moment.

And yet she wished for so much more. Underneath her almost overwhelming love she could feel the incessant pull of their bond, that invisible force that tied them together for all eternity. It was painful in its intensity, and growing more so by the second.

“I feel like I’ll die if I don’t kiss you right now,” she confessed in a fervent whisper.

“Well,” Xena heard herself answer in a low purr, “we wouldn’t want that, now would we?” Then she dipped her head and slowly, gently brushed her lips against Gabrielle’s.

Bliss. Euphoria. Absolute perfection. Neither one of them had ever felt anything so wondrous. They had nothing else to compare it to, no way to quantify or describe the feeling of utter completion, as though everything in their lives suddenly clicked into place exactly where it was supposed to be. The familiar tugging feeling grew stronger than ever, and Gabrielle wrapped her arms around Xena’s neck, burying her fingers in long dark hair and trying to deepen the kiss.

 _I’m kissing Gabrielle_. That single thought echoed through Xena’s head, and reality came crashing down on her. She gasped and abruptly pulled away, getting off the bed and striding out of the bedroom in a flash.

“Xena! Wait!” Gabrielle called, but the front door slammed shut behind Xena as she left the house. She scurried to the door and opened it, seeing Xena headed for the forest at a rapid clip. “Xena!”

“Don’t follow me,” said Xena without turning around, and she disappeared into the night.

 _Stupid! You are such an idiot!_ She chastised herself mentally as she stalked through the dark woods, her whole body still thrumming from that one little kiss. She could not believe she’d done that. It was as though she’d been possessed, like someone else had taken control of her body.

“This place!” she yelled into the night. Then she turned and punched a nearby tree, startling an owl off its perch in the branches.

It was the only explanation that made any sense. This timeline was robbing her of her mental capacities and inhibitions, making her say and do things she would never have done in the true timeline. 

Leaning her back against the tree she’d just hit, Xena looked up at the sky between the leaves without really seeing it. She was still seeing beautiful green eyes, still feeling soft lips and a warm body beneath hers. And she still felt that calm and completeness. It had never felt like that before, because she’d never kissed her soulmate before.

But now she had, and every time she looked at Gabrielle she was going to remember it, and it was going to be such sweet torture.

She was surprised when she felt tears running down her cheeks, and she wiped them away with the back of her hand. The worst part was that now she had to explain to Gabrielle that it was a mistake, and it couldn’t happen again. In her mind’s eye she pictured the hurt she would see on Gabrielle’s face, and it made her sick to her stomach to think that she was the one who was causing it. It was beyond unfair for her to do this to Gabrielle. The last thing she wanted was for Gabrielle to feel like she was using her or playing with her.

Still dressed in her night shirt, Xena waited until the night air became too cold for her to ignore to go back to the house. Through the window she could see that a fire was still going, and when she entered she found Gabrielle sitting beside the fireplace, staring into it, clearly lost in thought. She looked up when Xena entered, and there was a heavy silence between them. Then Gabrielle took a deep breath and said: “I’m sorry.”

“It wasn’t your fault.”

“Yes it was. I shouldn’t have said anything. I knew how you felt and I still couldn’t let it drop. I keep pushing you, and it isn’t fair to you.”

“You want to talk about fair? I’m the one saying no here, and we both know you weren’t the one who took us over the line. I shouldn’t have done that. There’s something about this place, Gabrielle. It’s doing funny things to my head.”

“Mine too.” Gabrielle stood from her chair and took a step closer to Xena, who was still standing frozen near the front door. “Are we going to be really awkward and uncomfortable around each other now? Do I need to sleep in the barn?”

“No,” said Xena quickly and with an air of desperation. “Please don’t. I still want to be close to you, like we have been since Rome. I need that. Unless… Unless you don’t feel comfortable with that.”

Gabrielle shook her head. “I need it, too.” She paused for a moment, looking as though she was struggling with something she wanted to say but didn’t quite know how. Xena waited patiently for her to figure it out. Finally Gabrielle said, very quietly, “There’s something else, isn’t there? Some other reason why you don’t think we should be together.”

Xena’s heart dropped into her stomach, devastated that Gabrielle had figured her out. “Yes,” she rasped weakly, unable to meet her eyes.

“Will you tell me what it is?”

“Eventually. I think I owe you that much. But not now, alright? For now I just want to get some sleep.” Exhaustion had set in on Xena, and she needed to hold Gabrielle in her arms and reassure herself that everything was fine between them and she hadn’t ruined everything. “Join me, please?”

“Okay,” agreed Gabrielle, and started to head into the bedroom. As she passed, Xena reached out to grab her wrist and stop her. Green eyes met blue in silent question.

“I love you, Gabrielle.”

“I love you, too.” She stepped closer and hesitantly wrapped her arms around Xena’s waist, relieved when Xena didn’t flinch or pull away. “I always will.”

The words caused a storm within Xena’s heart. This feeling of being loved by Gabrielle was the greatest gift that anyone could receive. She only wished she could trust in its authenticity. “We’re gonna be okay, Gabrielle. You can count on that. Come on, let’s go to bed.”

They settled in to their usual position, Xena on her back with her arm around Gabrielle, who was using her shoulder as a pillow with an arm resting on her stomach. It was comfortable and familiar, and they were both relieved that their little mishap earlier hadn’t robbed them of their easy intimacy. Though Xena was exhausted, sleep eluded her. She could tell from Gabrielle’s breathing that she, too, was still awake.

“Xena?” Gabrielle whispered.

“Hm?”

“Can I ask you an extremely personal question?”

“...Alright,” said Xena hesitantly.

“This whole soulmate thing… We’ve never really talked about it, you know?”

 _Uh oh_ , thought Xena. _This is dangerous territory._ “Yeah. What of it?”

“Well, I was wondering… Do you… Can you _feel_ it?”

There was a long silence as Xena considered her answer.

It grew so long that Gabrielle began to get anxious, and she couldn’t resist breaking it. “It’s just that sometimes when I’m with you I get this strange feeling. It’s kind of like a tug, or a pull. I felt it earlier when…” _When you kissed me_ , she finished mentally. _And I feel it now_. “Do you know what I’m talking about?”

Closing her eyes, Xena admitted, “Yes. I feel it, too.”

“I like the way it feels.” A pause, then, “Don’t you?”

 _In for a dinar, in for a pound. I might as well be honest with her. I owe her the truth after what I did earlier._ “Yeah, I do. I told you that when I’m with you I feel at peace. I think a large part of that can be attributed to our bond.” This was perhaps a little more than she’d intended to say, and she chalked it up to the same strange force that had made her kiss Gabrielle.

Gabrielle hugged her tighter, turning her head to press her lips to Xena’s shoulder. “I’m glad. I know you think you don’t deserve it, but I’m happy I can bring you some measure of peace.”

“Oh, you bring me a lot more than that, my friend.”


	5. Severed Together

Time passed in a pleasant way that neither Xena or Gabrielle had experienced in years. For Gabrielle, not since she’d joined up with Xena, and for Xena, not since before her brother had died. The first week was fast as they were absorbed in a flurry of activity while they settled in. During the daytime Xena helped Pankos and Callisto patch the roof of the barn while Gabrielle assisted Arleia and Zoe in the daily duties required in the running of a large farm. After sundown the two of them worked on their own little homestead, stocking the pantry and clearing the chimney and sweeping the dust off the floors. Before bed they each found time for their individual pursuits. Gabrielle learned that Xena really could do needlepoint, and she often watched her sewing with affection when she was supposed to be working on her scrolls.

In fact Gabrielle was finding it extremely difficult to transcribe the experiences she’d had by Xena’s side over the years. Whatever was affecting them about this timeline was getting stronger. In the tavern in the village to the north when she’d told her story she’d had trouble recalling some of the minor details, and that trend continued and worsened as the days went on. Though she was distressed by it, she did not mention it to Xena because she didn’t want to worry her. Not when Xena seemed to be growing happier and more comfortable by the day. Farm life seemed to suit the warrior princess, and Gabrielle had to admit she was enjoying it too. It was nice to be stationary for once, to not have to think about where they were going to sleep or what they were going to eat or where they would find shelter when it rained.

Before they knew it a second week had gone by, and then a third.

The bright-eyed and curious young Callisto attached herself to Xena’s side. She accompanied Xena on hunting trips to the forest, and Xena found herself teaching her how to track animals, how to stay downwind of them, and once they caught their prey, she taught Callisto how to skin and butcher the animals. Eventually, after an entire month had passed, Xena folded and began teaching Callisto to fight with a staff. Rather than fight Callisto herself, she had Gabrielle demonstrate and spar with the young girl as the two of them were closer in size and stature. To neither Xena or Gabrielle’s surprise, she picked it up quickly. 

“Is this really the best thing to do?” Gabrielle asked one day after they’d finished practice with Callisto. “Should she really be learning to fight?”

“Even in this timeline, it’s a dangerous world for a pretty girl like her,” Xena replied. “It’s not a bad idea for her to know how to defend herself. But I won’t teach her to use a bladed weapon. You know as well as I do that the staff is the most innocuous weapon for her to learn.”

“That’s true,” Gabrielle admitted. They were sitting in their favorite place, on a rock near a pond in the forest. Villagers from Cirra who were adventurous enough to explore the forest sometimes came here to swim, although more often than not the place was deserted, as it was now.

“I’ve been watching her very carefully, Gabrielle, and I don’t see the killer instinct in her. When we hunt she doesn’t ask to hold the bow. And she thanks the game before she butchers it. She’s not the same Callisto who I once found in a cave killing rats for sport.”

“Then why does she want to learn to fight?”

It was a valid question, and Xena took her time to consider her answer. “She may not be a killer, but she has a warrior’s heart. Nothing can change that. Maybe by teaching her with the staff, I can prevent her from having that fighting spirit corrupted into something darker. That’s what happened to me, and that’s what I did to Callisto.”

 _Except I didn’t_ , she added mentally. _None of that happened._

The thought took her by surprise, and she reached up to rub her eyes in confusion. _I’m not starting to believe that nonsense, am I?_

Gabrielle put her hand on Xena’s arm. “Hey,” she said softly. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” Xena assured her. “Just tired. I think I’m getting rusty from all this soft living.”

“I’ll believe that when I see it,” teased Gabrielle. “I watched you jump from the ground to the roof at least thirty times today without breaking a sweat, and then you trained with Callisto for two candle-marks. If that’s you being rusty, then that makes me feel pretty darn lazy.”

A glint of mischief lit in Xena’s eyes, and Gabrielle unconsciously began backing away. “You’re right. I’m not rusty. And I’m not tired either. In fact…” She advanced menacingly on Gabrielle. “I think I could go for a little swim, couldn’t you?”

“Xena, don’t you even think about it! That water is ice cold!” She scrambled to her feet in an attempt to run away, but she tripped on the slippery rock and was caught by Xena’s strong arms. Her relief was short-lived, however, because a second later they were airborne, and a second after that they were both plunged into the water. Gabrielle kicked out and disentangled herself from Xena’s grip, resurfacing to the sound of full, throaty laughter. “You son of a bacchae!” she sputtered. “I can’t believe you did that!” She began paddling to the shore, but her foot was caught by Xena and she was pulled back into her arms. The water wasn’t as cold as she’d expected it to be, and it was even warmer when she was being held like this. Her anger drained away when she saw the look of pure joy and amusement on her companion’s face, and she allowed herself to enjoy their play. 

“I’m no son, and my mother is no bacchae,” Xena corrected her, grinning like a little kid.

Gabrielle shook her head in amazement. “Look at you,” she said. “I used to have to work so hard to get you to smile like this, but ever since we came here I feel like I see it every day.”

“I have to admit, I have been enjoying our time here. It’s been nice not having to worry about… anything, really.”

“I agree.” Then Gabrielle frowned and pulled away from Xena, swimming back to shore. Xena let her go, surprised at her sudden mood shift, and then followed her. When they were sitting side-by-side on the rock again, Gabrielle said, “Have you thought any more about how we’re going to get our timeline back?”

“Yes. We will have to try Hebe again eventually.”

“What about Ares or Aphrodite, or any other god? We know them, and they know you. I’m sure they can’t be happy that Hebe has taken such liberties with the world.”

“Only the god who cast the spell will be able to reverse it. That’s why Aphrodite couldn’t interfere with Cupid’s tricks even though she’s technically of a higher rank, so to speak.”

“But maybe they could help to convince Hebe of what needs to be done. I’m sure Ares could…”

Xena cut her off before she could finish. “I’m not asking Ares for help. That last thing we need is to be in his debt. And every time he shows up, bad things happen between you and me. I can’t… I’m not willing to risk that happening again.”

Deeply touched by the vulnerability in her voice, Gabrielle reached over and took her hand. “Okay,” she said. “So we’ll do it ourselves. When should we go back to Hebe’s temple?”

“I’m not sure. Remember, these god things never end well. I’m betting we only need to be patient, and an opportunity will present itself in due time.”

Smiling, Gabrielle bumped her shoulder against Xena’s affectionately. “So you’re saying all I need to do is sit tight and continue enjoying domestic bliss with you? Say it isn’t so!”

Xena chuckled and put her arm around Gabrielle. “In terms of all the dastardly devious god-related problems we’ve ever encountered, this one is easily my favorite.”

“It’s definitely better than the time when the Furies gave you both persecution and madness,” commented Gabrielle, casting her mind back to the event. She could remember the moment when Xena had been afflicted with madness in the middle of a fight with a bunch of bounty hunters. She remembered catching up with Xena in Cyrene’s tavern. She remembered going to see Orestes and finding him still mad.

And after that… nothing. Her mind drew a complete blank. For the life of her, she could not recall how they had gotten out of that particular situation.

A cold chill went down her spine. This was not good. Standing abruptly, she climbed down off the rock and ran a hand through her wet hair. “Xena, how did that story end?” she asked shakily.

“What?”

“How did we get out of that one?”

“I don’t understand. You’re asking how I got the Furies to reverse their judgement?”

“Yes.”

Now Xena understood. She, too, got to her feet and hopped off the rock. “You don’t remember,” she said. It wasn’t a question.

“No. I can’t remember.” 

“Is this the first time this has happened to you?”

Rounding on Xena, Gabrielle demanded: “How did it end?”

“I convinced them that Ares was my father. I fought him in the Temple of the Furies and defeated him,” Xena answered shortly.

Flashes of memory came back to Gabrielle. Cyrene chained to the altar. Ares holding her with a hand over her mouth to keep her from talking. Xena spitting out rotten fruit. But everything was hazy and colorless, bereft of the detail she usually recalled with such ease. She put her hands over her eyes, pressing her palms against them so stars blinked in the darkness, trying to fill in the holes in her memory. It was no use. The memory was gone.

“It’s not the first time,” she said, dropping her hands and turning to face Xena. “I’ve been having trouble writing my scrolls. Usually I only have difficulty with the details, though. This is the first time I can’t picture a main event.”

“Do you remember it now that I’ve told you what happened?”

“Sort of. A little. But it’s like I’m watching it happen from afar, like I’m picturing a story I’ve been told.” Distressed, she threw her arms around Xena and buried her face in her neck. “Xena, I don’t want to forget our life together. I want to remember every minute.”

“Don’t worry.” Xena pressed a kiss against the top of Gabrielle’s head. “I’m sure once we fix the timeline you’ll get it all back.”

“And if we never fix it?”

“We’ll fix it. I promise. And in the meantime, I’ll help you with your scrolls. If there’s something you can’t remember, all you have to do is ask and I’ll jog your memory as best as I can.” She held Gabrielle out at arm’s length to look her in the eye. “So please don't worry. Everything will work out fine. Alright?”

“Alright,” agreed Gabrielle. As they looked at one another, Gabrielle felt the familiar wave of love for Xena crash over her and waited for the usual tugging of their bond that would follow.

But it never came. The love was still there, but the connection didn’t seem to be.

Panic overtook her. What was going on? Why couldn’t she feel her soul responding to Xena’s? She opened her mouth to say something to Xena, but the moment she did, the tugging feeling returned. Unnerved but relieved, she shook her head and said, “Can we go home now?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

 _I must be imagining things because I'm tired,_ Gabrielle thought as they made their way through the forest. _That’s all it is. Right?_

As they walked, Xena surreptitiously rubbed her stomach, as equally unnerved as Gabrielle without showing it. She’d felt it, too, the momentary lapse in their bond, but she didn’t attempt to delude herself that it was a fluke. In this strange timeline, anything was possible. It seemed plausible to her that the mysterious force wasn’t just taking her mental capacities and Gabrielle’s memories, but it might be wearing on their cosmic bond, as well. And that was a serious problem, because without the bond, she would lose Gabrielle.

But then again, wasn’t that was she wanted? Didn’t she want to free Gabrielle from the involuntary ties that kept them together? Maybe they shouldn’t be too hasty to leave this timeline after all. Maybe this wasn’t just Xena’s redemption -- maybe it was Gabrielle’s opportunity to live a better life, too. 

It was too painful to think about. If Gabrielle was going to leave her, she didn’t want to know about it beforehand. She only hoped that there would be no goodbye when the time came. She didn’t think she would be able to handle that.

The next day found Xena on top of the roof of the farmhouse with Callisto again, putting the finishing touches on the new shingles in preparation for the coming winter. The weather was beginning to turn, but it was still warm enough to enjoy lunch on the roof with the sun at its zenith in the sky. In the distance they could see three people tending to the field of wheat, too far away to see what they were actually doing but not too far for Xena to recognize the shaggy blonde hair of her soulmate. She’d given her a trim last night with a pair of sewing scissors, an activity they both enjoyed for its quiet intimacy. Very few people would feel comfortable with Xena wielding a sharp instrument in their vicinity, and even fewer would trust her not to make their hair look terrible. Xena thought she’d done a great job -- it was, of course, one of her many skills.

“Xena?” Callisto asked, drawing her attention away from the memory of the night before.

“Yes?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask, but I can’t promise I’ll answer.”

Picking at some grass caught in the soles of her boots, Callisto asked, “Why do you travel with Gabrielle?”

For a moment Xena felt as though she was back in her own timeline, facing a Callisto who was sneering and asking: “ _What do you see in her?_ ” She shook her head to banish the thought from her mind.

“I mean, you two seem so different,” Callisto continued. “You’re a warrior, and she’s a bard. I know she can fight, but it doesn’t seem like she enjoys it. Not like you and me.”

“Gabrielle lives by her own code. She doesn’t enjoy fighting, but she understands that sometimes it’s necessary.”

“So is that why you travel with her? Because she fights with you?”

“No. I travel with her because I need her. She is the embodiment of everything I hold dear in this world. She sees the good in everything and everyone. If I ever lose sight of what I’m fighting for, all I need to do is look at Gabrielle, and that sets me back on the right path.”

“Do you love her?” Callisto asked shyly.

“Very much so.”

“Like my mother and father love each other?”

Xena considered whether or not she should lie. To stall for time, she said, “That’s a very personal question, Callisto.”

“So you’re not going to answer?”

The Callisto that Xena knew from her own timeline had been a woman who had nothing but the dregs of a soul, completely unable to love and be loved. But Gabrielle had once tried to get her to open up regardless, even after she’d murdered Perdacus. And wasn’t that what Xena loved most about Gabrielle? The fact that Gabrielle cared for people even when they didn’t deserve it? The fact that she believed that love was the most powerful force in the world, more powerful than hatred and revenge?

If Xena wanted to keep this Callisto from becoming like that other Callisto, maybe love was the way to do that. So she decided to tell the truth. “Yes,” she said, “it’s like how your mother and father love one another.”

“Even though you’re two women?”

Xena raised an eyebrow at her. “Is that a problem?”

Shrugging, Callisto said, “I dunno. I’ve never heard of two women being in love.”

“It’s not that uncommon. There are men who fall in love with each other, too.”

Callisto scrunched up her nose. “That’s weird.”

“Is it?”

“I think so.” 

“Well it isn’t. Love is love, no matter what form it takes. That’s one of the many things Gabrielle has taught me over the last few years. If two people love each other and want to share their lives with one another, how could that possibly be a bad thing?”

“I guess that’s true.” Callisto picked up a roll and started throwing little bits of it off the rooftop, watching as the chickens in the yard below them set upon it at once. “I don’t like boys,” she admitted quietly. “Father wants me to marry when I’m old enough, but I’d rather travel the world like you and Gabrielle.”

“It’s a dangerous life, Callisto. We’re never certain what’s going to happen from day to day, or whether we’ll survive until the next morning. On the path we chose, the only constant Gabrielle and I have is one another. We have no home; we have to be each other’s home. I couldn’t do it alone, and neither could you.” Xena reached over and put her hand on Callisto’s shoulder. “Plus you’d have to leave your family behind, and I know how much you love them.”

Flopping back onto the roof, Callisto stared up into the clear blue sky. “Do you have a family?” she asked.

“I have a mother and a brother. They live in a village called Amphipolis a long way from here. And I have Gabrielle.”

“Does she have one, too?”

“Yes. Her mother, father and sister all live not far from Amphipolis in a place called Poteidaia.”

“And she has you.”

Smiling, Xena said, “That’s right.”

They got back to work, and for a while they were too busy to talk much. Xena worked on carrying more wood up to the roof while Callisto hammered it in to place. Once Xena had finished that task, she took up a hammer and knelt beside Callisto to assist her with her job. That was when Callisto asked: “Why _do_ you do what you do, anyway?”

“What do you mean?”

“You and Gabrielle. Why do you travel around and fight?”

“Because it’s the right thing to do. People all over the world need our help, so we give it to them.”

“Oh,” said Callisto simply.

It wasn’t until later that Xena realized that she hadn’t had a single thought about her past misdeeds or of her redemption when Callisto had asked what she was fighting for.

When she told this to Gabrielle as they were having dinner in their little house, she looked just as alarmed as Xena felt. “What does this mean, Xena?” she asked.

“I think it means that I’m starting to believe Hebe’s nonsense about never having committed any evil deeds.”

“Well, are you?”

“No, of course not,” said Xena quickly. “But also yes, I am.”

Gabrielle squinted at her with confusion. “No, but yes,” she repeated.

“I know it doesn’t make sense, but I think my subconscious mind seems to be accepting it without any input from my higher brain. I don’t think I have any control over it, like how it is with you and your memories. The longer we stay in this timeline, the more it melds us into its image. That’s why Hebe insisted we would thank her one day, because she knew this would happen.”

“So that means that if we stay here long enough, we’ll both forget our lives from the true timeline?”

“Theoretically, yes,” said Xena gravely.

Gabrielle put her elbows on the table and buried her head in her hands. “This is so messed up, Xena. How long do we have?”

“I have no idea.” She put her hand on Gabrielle’s back and rubbed comforting circles. “Hey, come on. I told you everything was going to be alright, and I mean it. We’ll figure it out. Look, why don’t you grab your stuff and we’ll work on a scroll, huh?”

Nodding her agreement, Gabrielle went to get her writing things and Xena brought out her needlepoint. She was going to be able to finish it tonight. The design was a recreation of her chakram, with Gabrielle’s sai crossed over top of it. They planned to hang it on the wall once it was finished.

Once Gabrielle was all set up, they set to work on the scroll. Tonight they were working on their first encounter with the Horde. It wasn’t one of Xena’s proudest moments, but Gabrielle insisted that they keep a record of all the good _and_ all the bad things they’d been through together. Gabrielle wrote down how they’d been attacked as they canoed downriver, and then how they’d ended up in the fortress filled with disheartened soldiers. She could remember setting up the infirmary, and she remembered how Xena had insisted that only soldiers who could fight should get food and water. 

“I know I did and said those things,” said Xena, furrowing her brow in concentration, “but I can’t understand why. At the time my actions made sense, but they’re incomprehensible to me now.”

“You said it was war,” Gabrielle supplied for her. “And the Horde had destroyed your army once, so you were particularly touchy about them.”

“That does sound familiar,” said Xena vaguely.

Watching her closely, Gabrielle realized something with a sudden burst of clarity. She said: “You can’t remember because your darkness is disappearing.”

The observation hit Xena right in the gut, making her feel lightheaded and dizzy. “What?” she rasped.

“That’s what’s happening to you here. This timeline is taking away the darkness in your soul. That’s why you smile more, and that’s why you feel so comfortable around Callisto. It’s because on some level you know you’re not capable of corrupting her anymore.”

Xena stood and tossed her needlepoint project on the table. She began pacing back and forth in the small room. “That’s not possible,” she said hoarsely. “The darkness is always inside me, Gabrielle. You know that better than anyone.”

“Not here,” insisted Gabrielle. “Not in a world where you’ve never spilled innocent blood.”

Back and forth, back and forth. Xena turned Gabrielle’s words over and over in her mind. But she knew it was the truth. She knew it in her bones, and in her soul. Even now she felt as though a great strain had been lifted from her being, the strain of keeping the sleeping beast inside her at bay. The beast was gone.

Turning to Gabrielle, she looked into her green eyes and had a realization of her own. “And you, you’re losing your restlessness and curiosity. You aren’t losing your memories of our past, you’re losing your will to tell stories. It’s impossible to create art when you have no desire to be greater than what you are. That’s why you’re happy standing still, even though you know you’re destined to do so much more. That’s why you haven’t once suggested that we move on from Cirra and continue our adventures, despite the fact that there’s nothing keeping us here.”

As they stared at one another in disbelief they both felt something inside themselves snap, and they let out simultaneous gasps. They both understood at once what had just happened.

Their bond had disappeared again -- for good this time.

“It’s gone,” Gabrielle said, her voice shaking. She put a hand on her stomach. “I can’t feel it anymore. Can you?”

“No,” Xena said, tears welling up in her eyes. “I can’t feel you anymore.” She staggered backwards until her back hit the wall, then she slid to the floor, her legs no longer capable of holding her up.

“What do we do?” asked Gabrielle, completely panicked. “We need to get it back!”

In a small, pathetic voice, Xena breathed, “Do we?”

Gabrielle’s jaw dropped. “ _What?_ ” she said gruffly. “What did you just say?”

Xena did not respond. Instead she wrapped her arms around her knees and rested her forehead on them. She couldn’t look at Gabrielle. It would hurt too much to see her face once she realized that she was free.

“Xena, if we don’t get our bond back, we might not get to be together in the afterlife. For all we know, this could make so we won’t be together in our next lifetime, either!”

Taking a deep breath, Xena said the most difficult thing she’d ever had to say: “Maybe it’s for the best, Gabrielle."

The silence that ensued was so heavy that it seemed to press in on their ears, thick and oppressive. 

“What are you saying? Are you saying you don’t want to be with me anymore?”

“No, that’s not what I’m saying.” Getting to her feet, Xena turned her back on Gabrielle so that she could have the strength to continue. “Do you want to know the real reason I don’t think we should be together? It’s because neither one of us _chose_ this. We were destined to be together because we’re two halves of a whole, and I do understand that. You’re the single greatest thing that has ever happened to me, but I know we would never have become as close as we are if it wasn’t for whatever cosmic force decided it should be this way for us. If we weren’t soulmates, none of this would have happened. You wouldn’t have followed me out of Poteidaia, and you wouldn’t love me.” Now she turned to face Gabrielle, and she saw with a stab of pain that she was crying openly. “So this is our chance to be rid of that destiny. You’re free of me.”

Through her tears, Gabrielle said, “You don’t love me now that the bond is gone?”

“Of course I do,” said Xena emphatically. “My feelings for you have never been the problem.” She itched to cross the room and hug her, but she held herself back.

But then Gabrielle took the decision away from her by striding right up to Xena, invading her personal space. “You think that I only love you because of the bond.”

Barely able to breathe, Xena could only nod mutely.

“Well, you’re wrong,” Gabrielle whispered. “Because the bond is gone, and I still want to kiss you right now.”

And then she did. She reached up and wrapped her hand around the back of Xena’s neck, pulling her down to capture her lips in a kiss that was neither shy nor hesitant. She ran her tongue along Xena’s bottom lip, drawing an involuntary whimper from her. After a moment she felt Xena give in, and suddenly she was spun so her back was against the wall, Xena pressing against her all along the lengths of their bodies, kissing her for all she was worth. They pulled apart after a few blissful, timeless minutes, and Gabrielle worried for a moment that Xena was going to run away again.

There was no need to worry. When she looked into tearful blue eyes, she knew that the time for running and denial was over. "Are you sure?" Xena whispered fearfully.

"I'm sure." Gabrielle reached up and tucked a strand of silky black hair behind Xena's ear.

"You could walk away. You could have your freedom. Your own future."

"Walking away from you would only deprive me of those things, Xena. Without you, 'freedom' and 'future' are meaningless words," she said. "I love you."

“I love you, too. I’m sorry for doubting you. For doubting this.”

“I understand.” Gabrielle gave her a wry smile. “You never did trust anything that comes from a higher power.”

“After everything the gods have done to us over the years, can you blame me?”

“No,” laughed Gabrielle. She was still smiling when Xena kissed her again, a slow, leisurely kiss that meandered with no destination in mind. It was an affirmation of their love for one another, and a way to express it -- one that they’d been denying themselves for far too long. Afterwards they rested their foreheads against each other, neither being in any rush to end their embrace. “Xena?” Gabrielle said in a hushed voice.

“Hm?”

“I want to get our bond back.”

“So do I. One lifetime isn’t anywhere near enough time with you.”


	6. Hollow

This time when they prepared for their journey north to the temple of Hebe, they packed enough rations to last them for a month. They were determined to remain there for as long as it took to make the goddess put things right. If she were being perfectly honest with herself, Xena didn’t really think it would actually work, but as the days passed the hollowness that remained in the wake of their severed bond became too much for them to bear without taking some kind of action. 

It turned out that there were things about their relationship that had been a result of their connection without them even realizing it. It was harder for Xena to read Gabrielle’s reactions to things, and vice versa. They could still do it, but it was no longer something that happened without conscious thought. It helped that they knew each other so well; their familiarity with each other was still there, it was only the implicit awareness of each other that was missing. If their souls were meant to be two halves of a whole, they no longer fit in to each other with such seamless perfection. There was distance there that hadn’t existed before.

And yet at the same time, they had never been closer. Now that she knew why Xena had been holding back, Gabrielle focused on making every effort to prove to her just how much she loved her. They spent as much time together in private as possible, even shortening their lessons with Callisto, much to the girl’s disappointment. Many pleasant hours were passed in each other’s arms, talking, kissing, and making love.

Nothing could have prepared them for the intensity of their lovemaking. Before they’d crossed the line from friends to lovers, Gabrielle had always sort of thought that it wouldn’t cause that much of a difference in their relationship considering how close they already were. She’d thought it would simply be a way to express their feelings for one another, and she’d been right about that. But it was also so much more. It changed everything between them. It had stripped them of all barriers. Now there were no secrets between them. Where usually Xena might withhold her thoughts from Gabrielle on occasion, she now shared them without hesitation. And where Gabrielle might have held back on asking personal questions of Xena, she now asked them and could expect to receive an answer. In short, it made them love and trust each other even more than they already did.

On the afternoon before the day they planned to leave Cirra, they headed out to their favorite spot in the forest, the rock beside the pond. It was beginning to get chilly outside, so they brought a blanket which Xena wrapped around herself and then encircled Gabrielle in her arms to cover them both, letting the smaller woman use her as a backrest. It was quite cozy, and Gabrielle smiled when she felt Xena nuzzle her nose into her hair and place a kiss on the top of her head.

“No one would believe this,” she teased.

“Believe what?” Xena murmured, her warm breath on Gabrielle’s scalp sending a pleasant tingle down her spine.

“How big a softie you are,” Gabrielle replied.

“Yeah well, you better not tell anyone. I’ve got a reputation to maintain.”

“I’ll tell whoever I want, thanks.” She felt Xena’s chuckle just as much as she heard it. “But don’t worry. Like I said, they won’t believe me.”

“You’re probably right.” Tightening her grip around Gabrielle, she said, “There’s something I’ve been wanting to ask you about, but I want to preface it by saying that I won’t be upset by whatever answer you give. I just want to know the answer for my own edification. Alright?”

Casting a curious look at Xena over her shoulder, Gabrielle nodded and said, “Alright.”

“Do you think that our bond as soulmates is what made you follow me out of Poteidaia all those years ago?”

Gabrielle considered the question, and decided to answer it with her own. “Do you think our bond as soulmates is what made you let me follow you out of Poteidaia?”

“Good question,” said Xena. “Hard one to answer, though.”

“So you see my dilemma. I was definitely drawn to you right away. I’d never met anyone like you before, and in my boring life, anything different was good. But I could tell right away that you were special. Whether or not that was because of the bond, it’s hard to say.”

“Had you heard of me before?”

“Yes, of course I had.”

“So you knew I was a warlord.”

“I did. And I knew you were legendary for your lethal combat skills. Of course that was the first thing I saw you do, so I knew the things people said about you had to be at least partially true.”

“You followed me even having heard of the things I’d done? What were you thinking?”

A wistful smile game over Gabrielle’s face. “People said you were cunning and ruthless and self-serving, and yet you protected me. Me specifically. Even while you were fighting ten guys, you had your eye on me. I knew right then and there you wouldn’t hurt me.”

Bashfully, Xena said, “You really impressed me that day. You offered to trade your life for the lives of your fellow villagers. There’s not too many people who’d do something like that. It was very brave, and I thought it was beautiful. Foolish, but beautiful. In you I saw the type of person I wanted to be. A pure soul. I wasn’t about to let a bunch of goons take that away.”

“You said the S word,” Gabrielle pointed out.

Xena blinked. “I did, didn’t I?”

“So maybe the whole soulmate thing was a factor after all.”

“Maybe."

“Does that disappoint you?”

“Not at all,” Xena assured her. “I’ve just been trying to figure this thing out. Before our bond was severed, I was hung up on the possibility that our bond and our feelings for each other were a chicken-and-egg situation, in that neither one can exist without the other. But now that the bond has been severed, I realized that it makes sense for it to have been the catalyst for us to begin our journey together.”

“It does,” Gabrielle agreed. “The bond was in place from the beginning, but the love grew organically over time.” She sighed sadly and learned further back into Xena’s solid body, relishing the contact. “Why do you think the bond is gone?” she asked.

“Well, I have two theories. The first is that this place has some kind of ancient magic that we mere mortals can’t possibly comprehend.”

“I don’t buy it,” said Gabrielle flatly. 

“Neither do I,” said Xena with a chuckle. They both knew from experience that there was always a logical explanation for the things that happened to them, even if the gods had a hand in it.

“Then what’s the other theory?”

“It’s like you said the other night: This place is changing our souls. My darkness and your curiosity are being slowly drained away the longer we stay here. I think the bond still exists, but the problem is that our souls can’t recognize one another anymore.”

Gabrielle shivered. She didn’t like that explanation, even though it rang true to her. “If we can’t recognize each other in this lifetime,” she said, “then we certainly won’t be able to when we meet in the next as strangers.”

“I agree,” said Xena. Seeing the upset on Gabrielle’s face, she continued: “But if I’ve learned anything from these past few days with you, it’s that our love is true. I believe that even though we may not feel that pull in the next life, our paths will still be destined to cross one day, and when it happens the love will grow between us regardless.”

Grinning, Gabrielle turned in the circle of Xena’s arms and straddled her lap instead, draping her arms over her shoulders. “You big softie,” she teased. “I thought I was the one who’s supposed to be waxing poetic about love and saying mushy things.”

“You must be rubbing off on me.” Xena leaned forward and kissed Gabrielle, feeling heat rush through her as curious hands began a gentle exploration of her body with definite purpose. “Really, Gabrielle. You want to do this here?” she said with a sultry smile.

“Mm hmm,” hummed Gabrielle, trailing her lips down Xena’s neck. “If you think I’m going to wait until we’re indoors every time I want to make love to you, you’re crazy.”

The skirt that Gabrielle was wearing was riding up her thighs, and Xena placed her hands on her bare skin to push it up even further. “To think, this is the same goody-two-shoes girl who followed me out of Poteidaia four years ago. What happened to you?”

“I grew up,” Gabrielle breathed into her ear, sending a thrill of arousal down her spine.

It was difficult for Xena to formulate a coherent thought, but she managed to gasp out: “Thank the gods for that.” And then there were no more words between them for quite some time.

Later, once they had momentarily quenched their thirst for one another, they snuggled up under the blanket to watch as the sunset turned the light into a fiery orange hue all around them. _I feel so close to her_ , Gabrielle thought. _If we’re this close now, what’s it going to be like when we get the bond back?_

She smiled when she felt Xena press a loving kiss on her forehead. “As much as I hate to say it,” Xena murmured against her skin, “we should head back. Callisto’s family will be waiting for us.”

“You know, even after all this time, I still can’t quite get over how strange that sentence was.”

“Then get ready, because this one will be even stranger: I’m going to miss Callisto and her family when we finally make it back to our own timeline.” As they packed up their things, a bitter expression came over Xena’s face. “My guilt should be stronger than ever, knowing what a lovely family they are and what I did to them. But it’s like I can barely remember it. It’s not natural, and it’s not right. Hebe didn’t give me redemption. She made me numb to all the things I’m supposed to feel -- the things I _deserve_ to feel.”

As they walked through the forest, Gabrielle hooked her arm through Xena’s in an unconscious affectionate gesture. It broke through Xena’s glum mood and made her smile. Though she had always been touchy, the added physical element in their relationship had caused Gabrielle to become even more so, and Xena would be lying if she said she didn’t enjoy it. It was nice having her close. 

“We are the sum of our experiences,” Gabrielle said. “Forgetting everything you used to know about your past is probably what’s taking your darkness away.”

“Hm,” was all Xena said in reply. She couldn’t help but wonder if Gabrielle didn’t prefer her this way, without all the emotional baggage that she normally carried around.

Dinner with Callisto’s family was a bittersweet affair. Everyone was in good spirits, but the family was sorry to see them go. When asked if they would ever return, Xena and Gabrielle exchanged glances, each seeing the answer on the other’s face. But Gabrielle lied and said: “Maybe someday.”

“We can’t thank you enough for your hospitality,” said Xena.

“And you’ll never have to,” said Pankos. “Thanks to you two, the place has never been in better shape. Truly, we are the ones who should be thanking you.”

“Can we hear one last story, Gabrielle?” asked Zoe, her eyes shining with hope.

With an indulgent smile, Gabrielle said, “Sure. Would you like to hear the story of how Xena and I first met?”

“Yeah!”

Xena listened as Gabrielle recounted the tale, noting the various details that she seemed to have forgotten, and it made her deeply sad. _This isn’t us_ , she thought. _We are shadows of what we used to be._

When Gabrielle had finished, they said their goodbyes to the family. Callisto went to the wall and took down the embroidery she’d made of the story of soulmates, rolled it up, and held it out to Gabrielle. “Please, take this with you to remember us by,” she said.

“Oh, Callisto, I couldn’t. You worked so hard on this!”

“I want you to have it,” Callisto insisted. “I think… Well, it should go to you. To both of you.”

Gabrielle looked into the young girl’s knowing brown eyes, then nodded and took the tapestry from her. “Thank you,” she said sincerely.

“You’re welcome.”

“I have something for you, too, Callisto,” said Xena, rising from her seat in the corner. “Why don’t you take a walk with me?”

Eagerly, Callisto followed Xena outside into the night. The farm was lit up by the full moon’s silvery glow, and it was quiet except for the crickets. Xena led her to the small guest house where they’d been staying. “Wait here,” Xena said, and stepped inside. She came out a moment later carrying one of the staves she and Gabrielle had been using in this timeline. “Here. It’s yours.”

Her eyes lighting up, Callisto took the staff and twirled it expertly. “Are you sure? Don’t you need it for your travels?”

“I can fight just as well with these,” Xena said, playfully cuffing Callisto’s chin with her fist, making the girl laugh. 

“Thank you, Xena.” She examined the staff, running one hand down the length of it. “I’m going to miss you,” she said quietly. “I’ve never met anyone like you before.”

“You mean you’ve never met anyone like _you_ before,” Xena said affectionately. “You have a warrior’s heart, Callisto, just like mine. As you go on through this life, you’re going to be confronted with things that will tempt you. We warriors walk a fine line. We love to fight, but we must not always reach for the weapon before we reach for our words. You’ve got to have a code, and you must always live by it. Do you understand?”

“Yes,” said Callisto, a determined look on her face. “One day I’m going to leave this village. I’m going to do what you do: Help the helpless.”

Xena reached out and ruffled her wild blonde curls. “When you do, come find us. We’ll be waiting for you.”

Callisto chewed her lip hesitantly for a moment, and Xena waited patiently for whatever she was going to do next. Then the girl surprised her by throwing her arms around her in a hasty, haphazard hug. And a second later she was gone, dashing off to the house with staff in hand.

An unexpected lump formed in Xena’s throat as she watched Callisto go. Even in their true timeline, Callisto had always felt like a kindred spirit. There was fire inside both of them; the only difference had been what they chose to burn. But in this timeline, Callisto could flourish in the light and become whatever she wanted. Xena knew that setting everything right would destroy Callisto again, and she mourned for her already. She was really going to miss the kid.

The next morning Xena and Gabrielle left before dawn, heading out towards the north with Argo in tow. For a long time they walked in silence, thinking of the journey ahead, and of what they’d left behind. They met no other travelers on the road.

By unspoken agreement, they didn’t stop for lunch in the same place they had the last time they’d come this way. Instead they ate as they walked, and once Gabrielle had eaten her fill, she decided to bring up something she’d been thinking about. “Xena?”

“Yes?”

“If this doesn’t work, where will we go? What will we do?”

Sighing, Xena said, “I’m not sure. We could keep doing what we’ve always done, or…”

“Or?”

“Settle down somewhere,” Xena said, somewhat bashfully. 

“You’d do that? You’d really give up the warrior’s path? Give up your redemption?”

Xena pinched the bridge of her nose in confusion. “It’s so hard to think clearly here, Gabrielle. I think, eventually, I won’t even remember that redemption was something I once felt I needed. And when you take that away, the only important thing I have left in my life is you. So the answer is yes, I would do that. If it meant sharing our lives and growing old with you, I can’t think of any better way to live out my days.”

Gabrielle took her hand and pulled her to a stop to give her a proper kiss. “I love you,” she said.

“I love you too, Gabrielle.”

They continued on, both with smiles on their faces. “So,” Gabrielle said cheerfully, “your hometown or mine? Or we could always go back to Cirra.”

All three options sounded pretty good to Xena. “Doesn’t matter,” she said. “As long as you’re there, I’ll be happy.”

They were close to the next village as night was falling. The wind was beginning to pick up, blowing in at their backs. A particularly strong gust hit, carrying a scent that made Xena stop dead in her tracks. “What’s wrong?” Gabrielle asked, reaching out to place a hand on her arm.

“I’m not sure.” Without warning, she let out a battle cry and leapt straight up into the air, catching hold of a tree branch above them. From there she swung her body around and around it, gathering momentum and then letting go to further propel herself upward. In this way she climbed to the very top of a tall tree, using the vantage point to look back the way they’d come. What she saw made her stomach sink. She hastily dropped back down to the ground, landing gracefully beside Gabrielle. “Get on the horse,” she said, climbing up on Argo’s back and reaching out to help pull Gabrielle up behind her. “Let’s go, Argo. Yah!” She kicked the horse into a gallop and they were off, doubling back along the road they had been traveling all day at a rapid clip.

“Xena, what’s going on?” Gabrielle’s heart was pounding in her chest. Something had definitely spooked Xena.

“Smoke,” she said grimly. “A lot of it. And it’s coming directly from Cirra.”

It was a tense, long right back. Gabrielle gripped Xena tightly around her midriff, too worried about what they would find in Cirra to be scared of the reckless speed at which they rode.

It wasn’t long before Gabrielle could smell the smoke for herself, and they were still a long way from the village. Further on, they started seeing villagers fleeing in the opposite direction.

“You’re going the wrong way!” one man yelled as they passed.

“Run for your lives!” said another.

Xena didn’t stop to chat with anyone. A sick feeling was churning in her gut, and the only thing that she could tolerate doing was continuing on, pushing the exhausted Argo to her limits.

At last they broke through the treeline and got their first glimpse of the village -- or what remained of it. There wasn’t a single building that wasn’t in flames. People were running every which way; villagers, and raiders. Men on horseback were looting, destroying, and killing everything in sight.

“Xena!” Gabrielle said, horrified.

“I know,” growled Xena. She reached down to loosen their one remaining staff from where it was fastened to the saddle and handed it to Gabrielle. “Watch our backs.”

They rode into the hellish tableau before them, headed directly to the farm where Callisto and her family lived. So many thoughts were racing through Xena’s mind. It was as though she were fifteen years back in the true timeline, and she was riding at the head of her army again. The smell of burning flesh assaulted her nostrils, making her feel nauseated and lightheaded. A horseman rode up beside them and swung his sword, but Gabrielle shoved the end of the staff into his stomach as he lifted his arm, knocking him clean off his horse. Another rider came at them head-on, and Xena sharply pulled the reins, turning Argo at the last second. Gabrielle, anticipating the move, swung the staff at the rider’s head, instantly knocking him out. He collapsed sideways and fell off his horse.

“Who are these guys?” Gabrielle asked, shouting to be heard above all the ruckus.

“It’s my army, Gabrielle,” Xena said grimly. “I know these men. I can’t remember their names but I know their faces. This is the army I razed Cirra with.”

“Then who’s riding at the head?”

They got their answer a moment later when they saw Draco in the distance. “Looks like Hebe found someone else to carry out my evil deeds for me,” Xena growled. “Nothing has changed except the face of the murderer. That’s why none of the other gods have objected to her little trick. What’s two lives in the grand scheme of things?”

As they approached Callisto’s farm, Xena could see at once that they were too late to save it. The house was ablaze, the flames devouring the roof that she and Callisto had finished reinforcing less than a week ago. In the flickering light of the blazing fire she could see two figures locked in combat; one a large man wielding a sword, and the other a scrawny girl with wild hair wielding a staff.

“Hurry, Xena,” said Gabrielle in her ear, and Xena dug her heels into Argo’s side, spurring her into a full gallop again.

The man lunged at Callisto, but she parried and swiped upward with her staff, knocking his sword out of his hands. She dropped into a roll, dodging a wild swing of the man’s fist, picked up his dropped sword, and drove it with all her might into his stomach. On her face, Xena saw the look she was most accustomed to seeing on Callisto; an expression of pure, dark, rapturous joy as she relished the kill.

“We’re too late,” sobbed Gabrielle. “Xena, we’re too late to save her. All this time we spent here, what was the point?”

Gritting her teeth, Xena said furiously: “I’m ending this, Gabrielle. I’m ending it right here and now. Tell me, will you still love me when the darkness returns?”

Pressing her forehead against Xena’s back, Gabrielle replied, “Always.”

“Don’t forget that you said that.”

She closed her eyes and reached deep down into her soul, searching for the last remnants of the darkness within her. There wasn’t much left, but she embraced it and brought it to the surface. It came back with a sickening rush of familiarity, all-consuming and terrifying. She almost cowered from it, but she felt Gabrielle’s presence behind her, and she knew she could do it. With Gabrielle there, she could do _anything._

With a battlecry, Xena flipped off Argo’s back and into the air, leaping over Callisto’s head and landing right behind her. She kicked the sword in the girl’s hand so that it fly high up into the air. While it was still up there, she took Callisto in a firm grip, wrapping her arm around her neck, choking her and preventing her from escaping. When the sword came back down, she snatched it out of the air and held it to Callisto’s throat.

“Hebe!” she hollered into the night. “Hebe, hear me now! I swear to you, you set the timeline back as it was or I will kill her!”

Hebe materialized before Xena and Callisto, frowning at the wildness in Xena’s blue eyes. “This should not be possible,” she said. “You should not have any darkness left within your soul. How are you doing this?”

“You underestimate just how deep that darkness runs. But I promise you, you’ll see it here tonight,” Xena snarled in reply. “So what’ll it be, Hebe? Will you make it right, or will you stand by and watch as I willingly destroy my shot at redemption by murdering this unarmed child?”

“You’re bluffing,” said the goddess. “I don’t believe it’s possible for you to kill her.”

Rather than answer, Xena pushed Callisto to the ground, knelt on her back, and used both hands to brutally snap the bones in her right arm. The cracking and Callisto’s agonized scream of pain seemed to tear through the sounds of the battle around them. It made Xena’s stomach churn, and she wondered if she might vomit all over the poor girl beneath her. She could not bring herself to look at Gabrielle.

Instead she smiled coldly at Hebe. “What do you believe now?” she said.

The goddess continued to gaze at her in utter confusion. “I don’t understand you, Xena. I offered you the perfect life. Why willingly take on all those things that cause you such pain?”

“I did those things, Hebe. I’m the one who deserves to live with the consequences. It may cause me pain but it’s my responsibility to feel it. I can’t stand by and watch you shove that on someone else. There will always be darkness in me, but at least I have Gabrielle to help me deal with that. That’s more than I can say for someone like Draco.”

Gabrielle got off Argo’s back and went to stand next to the goddess. “You severed our soulmate bond, Hebe,” Gabrielle told her, her voice gentle. “Our souls have changed so much that they don’t fit together properly anymore. Because of what you’ve done, you may have ruined our chance to be together in our next lives. Did you know that was going to happen?”

Hebe looked back and forth between Xena and Gabrielle, much as she had done in the barn on the very first night they’d met her, before she had altered the timeline. “No,” she admitted. “I did not know that was going to happen.”

“This isn’t a reward. It’s a punishment. Set it right,” Gabrielle said. “ _Please_.”

There was a long pause as Hebe considered the situation. The buildings were still burning. The fighting was still going on all around them. And Callisto was weeping and retching with pain in the grass where Xena still had her pinned down.

Finally, Hebe said: “Very well.”

And then everything faded to black.


	7. Returned

Xena awoke to the sound of booming thunder and a flash of lightning bright enough to see through her closed eyelids. Disoriented, she lay still and tried to grasp what had just happened. The last thing she remembered was fire, the sound of clashing swords, the feeling of Callisto’s bones snapping in her hands, and Gabrielle’s soft voice pleading with the deity who had brought all these things to pass. She sat up abruptly with gasp. _Gabrielle! Where’s Gabrielle?!_

She looked to her right and was relieved to see Gabrielle’s blonde hair poking out from beneath the blanket beside her. Comforted by her presence, Xena let herself fall back onto the bedroll, taking stock of their situation. They were in the hayloft of the barn they had slept in their first night in Cirra, before they’d been sent to the alternate timeline. The same thunderstorm from that night was still raging outside.

 _Everything seems to have been put back to the way it was._ Experimentally, she closed her eyes and searched her soul, finding its darkness immediately. And the memories of her many evil acts, too, had been restored. 

All at once, she felt the familiar weight of her crushing guilt. It was as though everything was hitting her at the same time. The only thing she’d ever felt that was even remotely comparable was when Alti put her hands on her, making her feel all the pain of all her lifetimes at once. Only this was far worse, because unlike Alti’s powers, there was no relief from it. And it felt even more awful because the guilt had almost completely left her by the time Hebe had set things right, and as a result her tolerance for it was lower than it had ever been, even lower than it was on the day she’d first met Gabrielle, when she’d been prepared to lay down her weapons and let the next man who confronted her with a sword be the last.

She lay there struggling to breathe under all the tumultuous emotions and memories that were paralyzing her. Tears rolled down her face, unchecked and uncontrollable. 

But then Gabrielle stirred and raised up from her pillow to look at her. “Xena,” she said with understanding and sympathy in her voice. She reached out and placed her hand on Xena’s face, gently turning her head to encourage Xena to look at her. Blue eyes turned and met green.

Time stopped.

At that moment, Xena couldn’t tell where she ended and Gabrielle began. The heart that beat within her chest was Gabrielle’s. The breath she drew went in to Gabrielle’s lungs. The hand that still rested against her face was her own. They had four arms and four legs and two heads, because they had been put back together as they were always meant to be. The light from Gabrielle’s soul broke through the darkness in her own, helping to shoulder some of the crushing weight of her guilt. And she could feel her own soul strengthening Gabrielle’s in return, encouraging her and supporting her as it grew alongside hers.

“Oh, gods,” Gabrielle whispered, her eyes glistening with tears. “There you are. I found you.”

“I’ve missed you so much, Gabrielle,” said Xena, and she drew Gabrielle into a kiss. 

The kiss felt like it was their first, exploratory and expressive and cathartic. In the past they had always experienced their bond as a force that pulled them together, but now it felt as though the connection their souls had been trying to make had finally been achieved. Now it was like their souls were touching just as much as their bodies were. They were perfectly aligned, and utterly complete.

Without breaking the kiss, Gabrielle pushed Xena onto her back and straddled her waist. Then she pulled away, but only long enough to lift her nightshirt off, letting it fall into the hay beside them, forgotten. Xena barely had any time to admire her nude body before Gabrielle was kissing her again. She buried her hand in Gabrielle’s hair, the other spreading itself out on her lower back. Gabrielle’s skin was hot and smooth beneath her fingers, and under that she could feel toned muscle shifting and tensing as Gabrielle moved. It was intoxicating and sexy, and she slid her hand up further to feel as much of the smooth, muscular surface as she could. But it wasn’t long before she became impatient with the barriers between them, and she flipped Gabrielle over onto the bedroll and hastily pulled her own shift off. When they came together again, their bare skin touched from head to toe, flooding them both with heat and arousal.

They paused to stare at one another, allowing themselves to absorb and appreciate the reinstatement of their connection. “I can’t believe we almost lost this,” Gabrielle said, reaching up with both hands to cup Xena’s face. 

“I would never have let that happen,” Xena replied. “Not unless you told me it was what you wanted.” She leaned down and gave Gabrielle the softest, most tender kiss she’d ever given anyone in her entire life. When she pulled away, she whispered: “Thank you.”

“For what?” Gabrielle asked quietly.

“For wanting this… For wanting me. And for waiting so patiently for me to accept that this is right for both of us.”

“I would have waited forever for you, Xena.” Gabrielle slid her hands down to Xena’s shoulders, wrapping her arms around her drawing her down for another kiss. “But I am so glad I don’t have to.”

Neither one of them knew how long their hands explored each other, touching and tracing every inch of skin, every curve of their bodies. Time seemed a meaningless concept, one that had no place in this universe they were creating with their love. When the touches finally focused in on the place it was most needed, the pleasure they each felt was the other’s, shared as a couple rather than owned by one. It swept over them, powerful and passionate, solidifying and strengthening their bond. And once it was over, it left a residual feeling of intimacy between them, making them feel calm and peaceful.

“By the gods, Xena,” Gabrielle panted as she lay shivering and recovering in her lover’s arms. 

Xena couldn’t seem to stop kissing her. She placed a series of soft kisses on Gabrielle’s sweaty forehead, holding her close as though she were the most precious thing in the world. Which, of course, she was. There were no words that could describe the way she felt at that moment, so instead she tipped Gabrielle’s face up and kissed her lips, then tucked her head back against her shoulder.

Wrapping her arms around Xena’s solid body, Gabrielle confessed: “I was worried you would tell me no again, now that your darkness is back.”

“I’m done saying no to you, Gabrielle,” Xena replied. “You saw what I did in Cirra. You know what I’m capable of, and yet you still chose to get the bond back. What reason do I have to say no to you now that you’ve shown that you can tolerate the darkness in my soul?”

“I don’t tolerate it,” Gabrielle said, reaching out and laying a hand on her face. “I _love_ it. I admit that it scares me sometimes, but it’s a part of you. It’s like I said before: We are the sum of our experiences. Everything you’ve been through has made you what you are. And I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, Xena, because I love you exactly as you are.”

“I don’t deserve you,” Xena murmured, burying her nose on Gabrielle’s hair. “But I will try to. I swear, I will try.”

As she began to drift off to sleep, Gabrielle replied: “Don’t worry. I’ll help you with that.”

Xena lay awake for a long time after that, thinking about what Gabrielle had just said. And when she finally did fall asleep, there was a smile on her lips.

In the morning they dragged themselves out of bed and down off the hayloft. There they found their missing belongings. “My chakram!’ Xena said gleefully, picking up the weapon and kissing it. “I missed you, old friend.” In her jubilance she threw the chakram, watching it ricochet around the barn with obvious enjoyment before snatching it skillfully out of the air. “Oh yeah. I still got it.”

Gabrielle hadn’t heard a single word Xena had said. She hadn’t even noticed the chakram flying around the barn. She was sitting cross legged on the floor, going through her scroll bag with a sense of deep relief. “They’re all here,” she said.

“And what about here?” Xena tapped the top of Gabrielle’s head with the flat part of the chakram. “Got all your memories back?”

“Yes. I remember everything.”

“ _Everything?_ ” Xena teased. “How can you be sure you remember _everything_? If you forgot something, you won’t remember that you forgot it.”

“Ha ha,” said Gabrielle. She stood and poked Xena on the tip of her nose. “You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” 

“I don’t think it. I know it.”

 _She’s in a good mood,_ thought Gabrielle. It surprised her, considering how she’d seen Xena struggle with the weight of her returned guilt the night before. “How are you feeling?” she asked, studying her carefully.

“I feel great,” Xena replied honestly. 

“You sure? I mean, last night when we came back, you seemed pretty upset.”

“I was. But don’t you remember what happened after that?” Xena gave her a mischievous smile and a suggestive quirk of an eyebrow. “It’s pretty hard to be upset after something like that.”

Gabrielle rolled her eyes and began packing away all their things. “Fine. If you don’t want to talk about it, then I won’t ask. Let’s get going.”

While she was putting their things in Argo’s saddlebags, Xena found something that made her heart ache. “Look, Gabrielle,” she said, holding it up for her friend to see.

“Callisto’s tapestry,” said Gabrielle. She came over and took it from Xena, running her fingers over the carefully-embroidered image of the conjoined humans. “I wonder if Hebe overlooked it, or if she let us keep it on purpose.”

“I don’t know, and I’m not sure I really want to find out.”

“Me either. But whichever it is, I’m glad we get to keep it.” She rolled the tapestry up carefully and placed it in her scroll bag for safe-keeping.

A short time later they exited the barn into the same walled, rebuilt Cirra which they had walked in to several weeks before. They stood in the yard for a moment, each silently reliving the time they had spent on Callisto’s farm and mourning the loss of their friends. Xena took one last look around the place, then said, “Goodbye, Cirra. Be well. And thank you.” And Xena, Gabrielle and Argo left the town for what would certainly be the last time in their lives.

Once they were on the road again, Xena said, “You want to know why I’m feeling pretty good right now?”

“Yeah, I do,” said Gabrielle, glad that Xena had decided to give her a serious answer after all.

“It’s because I realized something last night.”

“What’s that?”

“I realized that I will never obtain redemption. In fact I doubt such a thing even exists. At least, not in the way I thought it did.” She pulled Gabrielle to a stop and reached out to cup her face in both hands. “ _You_ are my redemption, Gabrielle. As long as you’re beside me, I’ll always know I’m walking the right path. I can’t redeem my past mistakes. They’re a part of me, and they always will be. But now I see that the purpose of my life is to be the kind of person who is worthy of all the gifts you give me every day of my life. The kind of person you can be proud to walk beside.”

Gabrielle smiled, finding herself blinking back tears of happiness. “Well,” she said, “you’re doing a great job so far.”

“Of course I am,” said Xena, wiping away an errant tear that had managed to escape. “After all, I have _many_ skills.” When Gabrielle laughed, she pulled her closer and kissed her soundly. “I love you, Gabrielle.”

“I love you, too, Xena.”

She allowed one more kiss, then stepped back and took Gabrielle’s hand, intertwining their fingers. “Let’s go see what other trouble we can get ourselves into, shall we?”

“Sounds good to me,” replied Gabrielle.

They continued on down the road hand-in-hand, with Argo following contentedly behind them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's over!
> 
> Thanks for joining me on this little flight of fancy. As I said before, I have a deep, abiding love for this show and this fandom that has stuck with me for many years. I really hope I managed to do the characters justice. 
> 
> Until next time, dear readers. As always, you're fabulous and I love you all.


End file.
